Monday's Marriage Moment - You've Got The Power!

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives
1 Peter 3:1

You aren't just a wife. You aren't just a mother. You aren't JUST anything! So many times we use the word "just" to describe who we are and what we do, but the word "just" means "barely or by a narrow margin" according to the dictionary. You aren't barely or narrowly anything! You are a daughter of the King! Stop minimizing who you are! Perhaps, we minimize ourselves - our gifts and abilities - to make others feel better. Maybe we do it because we have some insecurities about them. Maybe we do it because we have been taught to, but today I would like to remind you, Believing Wife,  who you are, and I want you to own every bit of it!

Godly wives - Believing Wives - are powerful! In the bible, it was a wife named Deborah that ruled and governed based on God's word. It was a wife named Sarah, that embodied faithfulness and stood with Abraham even when he was tripping. It was a wife named Mary that stood on the truth of God's word and became pregnant with Christ, even when her husband wanted to put her away and society would have desired to stone her. It was a wife named Abigail that interceded for her husband (clearly a fool) when his actions could have cost them all their lives. It was a wife, we know her as the Shunnamite Woman, who made a room for the prophet of God to stay and thus brought blessing to her home and husband because of it!

This is the power that we have been given by God as wives! This is the role to which we have been called. Do you not know, dear wife, that you can win your husband without saying a word (1 Peter 3:1)? Do you not know that you have the power of influence that can be used for either good or evil (remember Eve influenced Adam to eat the apple and Delilah influence Samson to reveal the source of his strength)? Do you not know that you can set atmospheres and shift climates? Do you know that you can pray and things change? Do you know that you have power?

Do you know who you are? If not, today is a good day to get acquainted with the wife God has called you to be! He has called you to be powerful, skillful, and sharp! He has called you to discern and detect what is happening both in and to your spouse and to war on his behalf! You don't even have to open your mouth! Your actions and conduct can call things to order! Take your rightful place, Believing Wife! You have power. Use it well!

Monday's Marriage Moment - Make Room for God!

And she said to her husband, “Look now, I know that this is a holy man of God, who passes by us regularly. Please, let us make a small upper room on the wall; and let us put a bed for him there, and a table and a chair and a lampstand; so it will be, whenever he comes to us, he can turn in there.”

2 Kings 4:9-10

Dear Wife, make room for God. Set aside time for him. Set aside a location where you can fellowship. Set aside yourself to hear what He wants to say. I know – you probably have a solid relationship with God already. You probably regularly attend worship service and fellowship with other believers. I am sure that you have a regular devotion and prayer time. I guess that you are pretty solid, but I believe that there are some ways that even you can make more room for God:

• Maybe you can make room for God to speak to your husband rather than trying to convince Him yourself?
• Maybe you can make room for peace to reign in your home?
• Maybe you can make room for God in your schedule?

Yeah, there are plenty of ways that we need to make room for God. In our passage for today, this woman watched Elijah pass by time after time. She knew he was a man of God, and she decided that she didn’t just want him to pass by. She didn’t just want him to visit. She wanted to provide a place for him to dwell. She recognized the greatness that was in his life, and she wanted that in her home.

Have you seen the greatness of God? Have you seen what He can do? Have you seen His power in your life? Don’t you want that in your home? I encourage you to make room for him.

Note that this wife didn’t wait for her husband to suggest that they build a room. She took it upon herself to do so. There will be times that you will have to do it first. You may have to initiate spiritual activities. I know it can be frustrating, but if you do it with a pure heart you will see great rewards! So, if you have to make room for God by initiating prayer do it! If you have to make room for God by initiating church fellowship do it! If you have to make room for God by initiating bible study do it! Make room for God!

Clear your schedule if you must, but by all means make room for God.

Monday's Marriage Moment - So Tired I Could Cry

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
-2 Corinthians 12:9

Have you ever been so tired that you could cry? That was how I felt Saturday morning. I was attending/volunteering for an amazing conference. I had been on my feet serving for over 12 hours for the last couple of days. I was standing in worship at 6:00am prayer, and I was tired. I wanted to lift my hands and tell God how amazing He is. I wanted to bow down and worship Him. I wanted to exclaim how great He is, but all I could do is stand there and let the tears fall. I had no words - no eloquent earthly or heavenly language. Like Hannah in the book of Samule I made no noise. All I had was tears.

I spent my time in worship allowing my tears to fall freely. I knew that God understood them. I knew that He was not upset with me or disappointed in me. I believe that He appreciated my raw honesty before Him. He knew that my schedule was full for the rest of the day - minister at another conference, return to this conference, ensure that my children got where they needed to go. He knew that I would unexpectedly have to minister the next day. So I believe that He welcomed my tears.

I was reminded of the verse that I have listed for today. His grace is sufficient. It is enough. Why? Because His strength is made perfect in our weakness. I was definitely weak, but His strength carried me through that day and the next. He allowed me to minister effectively, parent effectively, and be a wife effectively. God is showing me that He wants to do that for me every day - not just on the days when I feel that I can't handle it. He wants to consistently be my strength. So, I have to consistently come to Him and make that exchange - my weakness for His strength.

Are you tired? Are you overwhelmed with the responsibilities that you have? Take a few minutes to let God strengthen you. He is okay if you just sit in His presence and let the tears fall. He is fine if you can't quite find the words to say. He just wants you to come to Him. I assure you that you will leave your time together refreshed and renewed.

Monday's Marriage Moment - Check Your Warranty!

For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.

 Colossians 1:16

I bought a small appliance not too long ago, and the cashier asked me if I would like the warranty. I know she was doing her job, but I found her question funny since the warranty cost just as much as the appliance. As a matter of fact, it would have been more cost effective to buy another one instead of getting the warranty! Needless to say, I declined the warranty on this purchase.

Yet, I typically do get the warranty on larger investments. I like the convenience and the security of knowing that if something goes wrong or doesn’t work properly I can contact the manufacturer to repair or replace the defective device. That saves me time, worries, and money. All I have to do is contact the manufacturer and tell them what the problem is, show proof of purchase and warranty, and wait for them to make good on their end of the deal.

It may seem like a stretch to you, but marriage is the same way. Your marriage is a huge investment, and God is the manufacturer of it. It was His idea. He created it, developed it, and made it available to all of us. It’s not a good idea. It’s not a creative idea. It’s not a solution to loneliness or a goal to be achieved. It’s designed by God intentionally. He created it with purpose and for purpose. Before He instituted offices and callings, before He instituted schools and government, even before He created families and community He instituted marriage. So, why is it that we don’t contact the manufacturer when something in our marriage is not working as it should? Why don’t we pull out our warranty – “the written guarantee issued by the manufacturer” that promises to repair that which is broken?

We often tell our friends what the problem is. Some of us even go to social media with the problem. Very few of us go back to God, and His word (the warranty), to get a solution. Can I encourage you to talk to the Manufacturer this week? No matter how big or small He promises to address every concern. Your proof of purchase is the shed blood of Jesus Christ! That’s all the receipt you need. He purchased you Himself. So, go to Him, and tell him what needs to be repaired or replaced:

·         God you said that we are one in the warranty (Genesis 2:24), but we are not on the same page. Can you repair our hearts?

·         The warranty says that our home should be in order (Ephesians 5:22 – 24). Can you replace our disorder with your order?

·         The warranty says that we should love each other like you love the church (Ephesians 5:25 – 33). Can you repair our love for one another?

·         The warranty says that we should have humility and patience for one another in love (Ephesians 4:2). Can you give us patience in the place of our short tempers?

·         The warranty says that the husband should rejoice in his wife, and that we should be satisfied in our intimacy (Proverbs 5:18 – 19). Can you renew our passion?

·         The warranty says our communication should be graceful and edifying (Ephesians 4:29). Can you repaired our communication and replace our harsh words with words of kindness and love?

God is longing to work on your behalf. Bring your concerns and cares to Him. Take your marriage back to the Manufacturer this week and expect repair or replacement in every area. After all, the warranty only works if you use it!

Monday's Marriage Moment - The Purge!

But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour. If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work.
2 Timothy 2:20-21

I took too much stuff. I promised myself that I wouldn't but I did. Every time I have moved since being an adult I have taken too much stuff. The same thing happened to me the last time I moved. I still have boxes that I haven't unpacked and stuff I haven't gone through. You know how it is: after you have been packing for days you stop going through every item and start just throwing things in boxes. That inevitably leads to taking too much stuff.

We don't just do this when packing for a move we also do it as we navigate life. We take too much stuff to the next place - the next relationship, the next assignment, the next thing. We take our old mindset into our new relationship. We take past hurts into our new adventure. We take things that have gotten too small or are too worn - things that no longer fit - into our new place and wonder why we don't have room in our closets.

Some of us are making our current husbands pay for what previous men did. Some of us have never really addressed things that did in fact happen with our current husbands. Others of us are carrying hurts and self-esteem issues from our childhood. We never really dealt with the stuff we were holding on to and so it's taking up space - sitting unopened smack dab in the middle of our homes. It takes a lot of time and energy to open those boxes and examine each piece. It takes a lot of courage to make objective decisions about the things we have carried when our feelings want to run away from them.

Our scripture reminds us that even when the house is "great" there are vessels there that don't belong. No matter how wonderful your marriage, how successful you are, how many things you have accomplished there are things that God wants to remove from your life so that you can grow. Actually, He wants you to remove them (note the scriptures says "if a man purge himself") so you can grow. I think it is time for some spring cleaning. Take inventory this week to see what things - what traits, qualities, issues, and concerns - God wants you to purge. Is there unforgiveness? bitterness? anger? low self-esteem? rejection? pride? What vessels of dishonor is God speaking to you about? Will you be brave enough to sit down and begin to go through it? He is right there with you ready to replace the things you purge with so much more!

Monday's Marriage Moment - Crown Your King!

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4

I grew up playing checkers with my dad. Normally, he would win as he had more experience than I did, but I still loved to play with him. Even though I rarely, if ever, won I remember the highlight being when I somehow made it to the opposite end of the checkerboard. I would boldly declare, "king me"! I loved it when he put that other checker on top of mine in the act of "crowning me". See, making it to the other side didn't make me win the game, but I knew when he crowned me I would be afforded more freedom. I could move in different ways than I could before the crown. I could jump more pieces. That crown guaranteed that I had more opportunity and more power.

What does that have to do with marriage, you ask? Everything! You have the amazing responsibility of crowning your husband! You get to bring out the king in him. You get to afford him the opportunity to move and advance to more places with less effort! Girl, you better crown your king!
He has worked hard to make it to whatever place he is currently. The battle is not over, and there is more to do, but when you crown him you give him more freedom, authority, and access to be all that God has called him to be.

The natural question, then, is how do I crown him? I'm glad you asked. First, you live a life that is pleasing to God. You live in a way that brings God honor AND your husband honor. You represent the kingdom AND your husband well. Then you bring out the king in him. That means that you speak to him like he is God's child - because he is. You ensure that your words are grace seasoned with salt - not nagging, complaining, or being contentious. You make sure that he feels loved and appreciated. You make your home and place that he is glad to come home to. You take care of your man. I know that sounds outdated and antiquated, but I believe that it is God's desire that we take care of our husbands. I don't mean that we are slaves or that they sit home while we work and do everything, but I do believe that it means that we take care of their needs and make their jobs as head of our homes easier.

Bottom line - you are the crown! You are a symbol of the power and authority that he possesses. Will you adorn him with beauty or shame? Will you rise to the occasion, excellent wife? Will you bring out the king in your husband?

Monday's Marriage Moment - It's Time for a Tune Up!

Be diligent to know the state of your flocks,
And attend to your herds
Proverbs 23:27

No one waits until their car breaks down to get a tune up. Actually, at that point it is too late. Most of us understand that if we want our car to perform at optimum capacity we need regular maintenance. We can't simply put gas in the car and expect it to run forever. We must have the oil changed, spark plugs replaced, and tires rotated. We need regular maintenance to ensure that our cars run smoothly and effectively for a long time.

In the same way, we schedule regular check-ups with the doctor. We typically go every six months simply to have our blood pressure checked or have our glucose or iron levels monitored. The doctor uses his stethoscope to check our heart rate and monitor our breathing. We don't have these visits because something is wrong. We schedule these visits to prevent something from going wrong and catch any problems that may be present, but not obvious, before they become something major.

If we have our cars tuned up, and we have check-ups to maintain our health, why is it so foreign to have regular check-ups for our marriage? Why is it that we don't look into preventative maintenance to ensure that our marriages our running smoothly? We think that attending a marriage conference or seminar is indicative of a problem in our marriage when really it is a tune-up! We think that our marriage is going to thrive as we go about our normal routines and rituals when it actuality it is doing the opposite - becoming mundane and lifeless. Just like you can't maintain a car by only putting gas in it you can't maintain a marriage with rituals and routines.

Our bodies and cars experience normal wear and tear. It's just the way life its. If we want to get the most out of them we are going to need to check on them every now and then. Your marriage is no different. When is the last time you and your spouse checked in with each other to see how things were going? When is the last time you check in to see if you both were happy or satisfied with your communication? your love life? your finances? Have you put these things on auto-pilot? If so, I encourage you to schedule a tune - up. Maybe you need a date night, a vacation, or something spontaneous and exciting.

Take some time this week to check in for a check up with your spouse. You may find that like my older Expedition your "service engine soon" light is on. No worries! All you need is a tune up! Schedule it immediately!