And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2
Petty Crocker. Petty Labelle. Petty and Pretty. Saved and Petty. We have come up with cute, trendy sayings to normalize being petty. We glorify pettiness as if achieving grand levels makes us special. The truth is it makes us pitiful. Pettiness is the opposite of powerful, and it is sabotaging relationships left and right.
Pettiness shows up in our marriages in various ways, but the results are the same - destruction and separation. We play the petty game by giving our spouses the silent treatment, playing "keep away" with intimacy, and trying to keep score with activites - I cooked dinner last night so you cook tonight, or you went out last weekend so I am going out this weekend. Our attempts at being petty cause chaos, confusion, and distance in our relationships. It's time to stop.
Stop glorifying being petty. Stop giving it a place in your marriage. Stop stooping to low levels to win at a game that causes both parties to lose. Stop it. Choose to overlook offenses. Decide to love even when your spouse is on your nerves. Determine that you will not give your spouse the silent treatment because you didn't get your way. Marriage isn't a game to be played. It's a journey to be taken together. You win together, or you lose together.
Petty really means childish. It means trivial and of little importance. Is that what we want to focus on in our marriages...being childish and trivial? The world's standards do not work for godly marriages. Allow God to transform your mind.You can't be the queen of petty and have a solid marriage. You are going to be petty or powerful, but you can't be both. Which do you choose?
It's time to go from petty to powerful. It's time to rise up and be the wife that God designed you to be. You can be a believing wife, but that requires you to live a believing life. Get out of agreement with petty, and get into agreement with God.
What one thing will you do to go from petty to powerful in your marriage?
Monday, July 30, 2018
Monday, July 23, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - I Didn't Realize What I Had!
as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue
2 Peter 1:3
I didn't realize what I had. My back tire has a slow leak, and for the past couple of weeks I have been putting air in it once a week (John is more than happy to do it for me, but I drive the truck and have more of an opportunity to do so - and I am a country girl, so I don't mind). We plan to buy a set of tires for the truck this week, and for a truck my size they are pretty expensive. Anyway, I was putting air in the tire last week, and just when I had finished I noticed something under my truck. Guess what it was? A tire! Not a spare tire or a used tire...an actual new tire for my truck secured under the trunk just waiting to be used.
I had been putting air in a old tire when I could have simply used the new tire. I didn't know what I had! How many of us have been providing life support to something old when we actually have something new already? Many of us have new clothes with tags on them hanging in our closets, but we keep wearing the same things. We have new opportunities, but we keep repeating the same patterns. We have scriptures that promise us newness, but we are content to hang on to the old.
I see the act of me pumping air into that tire as "dead works". Yeah, it would sustain me for a while, but it would need "life" breathed into it again. It would need refill after refill, and it really isn't that stable. Now, just to be clear, I'm not saying that your marriage or your husband is lifeless. I'm saying that some of our patterns are. Are you trying to repair and "make do" with a defective thing when God has given you something new.
For example, are you still trying to solve problems with your words? Are you still trying to "make" your husband act, be, or do certain things? Are you complaining, fussing, and fighting rather than using the "new" strategies God has given you. He has placed inside of you love, joy, and peace. Did you forget you had it? He has given you His Holy Spirit which comes with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Have you forgotten? You have power living on the inside of you. Do you realize that? You don't have to fight like others because God delights in fighting for you! You don't have to manipulate or control. Simply rely on God to show you the way and grant you peace.
And let me add this. It's often easy to forget the great things in your spouse because you see the issues. Don't miss these qualities. Write a list if you have to. Spend some time intently focusing on the things that drew you to them in the first place. So many people lose the 80% they have looking for the 20% they are missing. I encourage you today to realize what you have. Take inventory. It could save you lots of time and energy. Realize what you have!
2 Peter 1:3
I didn't realize what I had. My back tire has a slow leak, and for the past couple of weeks I have been putting air in it once a week (John is more than happy to do it for me, but I drive the truck and have more of an opportunity to do so - and I am a country girl, so I don't mind). We plan to buy a set of tires for the truck this week, and for a truck my size they are pretty expensive. Anyway, I was putting air in the tire last week, and just when I had finished I noticed something under my truck. Guess what it was? A tire! Not a spare tire or a used tire...an actual new tire for my truck secured under the trunk just waiting to be used.
I had been putting air in a old tire when I could have simply used the new tire. I didn't know what I had! How many of us have been providing life support to something old when we actually have something new already? Many of us have new clothes with tags on them hanging in our closets, but we keep wearing the same things. We have new opportunities, but we keep repeating the same patterns. We have scriptures that promise us newness, but we are content to hang on to the old.
I see the act of me pumping air into that tire as "dead works". Yeah, it would sustain me for a while, but it would need "life" breathed into it again. It would need refill after refill, and it really isn't that stable. Now, just to be clear, I'm not saying that your marriage or your husband is lifeless. I'm saying that some of our patterns are. Are you trying to repair and "make do" with a defective thing when God has given you something new.
For example, are you still trying to solve problems with your words? Are you still trying to "make" your husband act, be, or do certain things? Are you complaining, fussing, and fighting rather than using the "new" strategies God has given you. He has placed inside of you love, joy, and peace. Did you forget you had it? He has given you His Holy Spirit which comes with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Have you forgotten? You have power living on the inside of you. Do you realize that? You don't have to fight like others because God delights in fighting for you! You don't have to manipulate or control. Simply rely on God to show you the way and grant you peace.
And let me add this. It's often easy to forget the great things in your spouse because you see the issues. Don't miss these qualities. Write a list if you have to. Spend some time intently focusing on the things that drew you to them in the first place. So many people lose the 80% they have looking for the 20% they are missing. I encourage you today to realize what you have. Take inventory. It could save you lots of time and energy. Realize what you have!
Monday, July 16, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - It Will Work Out...Just Probably Not Like You Planned
I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through [Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:12-13
I like lists and schedules. I like plans and agendas. So, as usual, I had a plan for my day. I worked out as usual, and then I planned to be super domestic: I was cooking some homemade chicken and dumplings (with actual homemade dumplings - rolled out the dough and everything), and I had shucked some ears of corn. You have to be from the south to understand shucking corn! My daughter was making some homemade brownies, and I fully intended to eat and lounge for the remainder of the day. Then my plans changed. An emergency phone call cancelled those plans and sent me out of town.
As I reflect on the day, I realize that even though the emergency wasn't in my plan it was in God's. The events didn't catch Him by surprise. They didn't interfere with His schedule or agenda at all. He knew what was going to happen, and in subtle ways, He put things in place. My son had a ride to practice. Dinner was done. My husband was able to go with me to attend to the situation. We were able to provide love, support, and assistance to those who needed us.
So, I want to encourage you today that things will work out. They just won't typically work out as you plan them, and that is okay. I have seen that not just in today, but in the last few months and years. I had a plan for where I would be at this age. I had a plan for my family and friends. I had a plan for my career and finances. None of those things are exactly as I planned them, but many of them have worked out better. I had to learn to accept a better plan. As Paul indicates in our scripture, we have to be flexible enough to handle whatever comes. It's okay to have a plan, but we can't hold onto it so tightly that there is no room for God. Be flexible, Dear Friend! There will be interruptions, emergencies, and unexpected events. Know that God always has a plan - even when it's not a part of your plan!
Philippians 4:12-13
I like lists and schedules. I like plans and agendas. So, as usual, I had a plan for my day. I worked out as usual, and then I planned to be super domestic: I was cooking some homemade chicken and dumplings (with actual homemade dumplings - rolled out the dough and everything), and I had shucked some ears of corn. You have to be from the south to understand shucking corn! My daughter was making some homemade brownies, and I fully intended to eat and lounge for the remainder of the day. Then my plans changed. An emergency phone call cancelled those plans and sent me out of town.
As I reflect on the day, I realize that even though the emergency wasn't in my plan it was in God's. The events didn't catch Him by surprise. They didn't interfere with His schedule or agenda at all. He knew what was going to happen, and in subtle ways, He put things in place. My son had a ride to practice. Dinner was done. My husband was able to go with me to attend to the situation. We were able to provide love, support, and assistance to those who needed us.
So, I want to encourage you today that things will work out. They just won't typically work out as you plan them, and that is okay. I have seen that not just in today, but in the last few months and years. I had a plan for where I would be at this age. I had a plan for my family and friends. I had a plan for my career and finances. None of those things are exactly as I planned them, but many of them have worked out better. I had to learn to accept a better plan. As Paul indicates in our scripture, we have to be flexible enough to handle whatever comes. It's okay to have a plan, but we can't hold onto it so tightly that there is no room for God. Be flexible, Dear Friend! There will be interruptions, emergencies, and unexpected events. Know that God always has a plan - even when it's not a part of your plan!
Monday, July 2, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - Stick to the Script!
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
2 Timothy 2:15
Stick to the script, Dear Sister! Stick to the script! No actor becomes successful by showing up to the movie set without knowing the lines. They spend months studying and reviewing the provided script. They familiarize themselves with it knowing that the day is coming when the director will yell, "action", and they must be prepared for that moment. Can I suggest to you today that you need to do the same thing? You need to spend time studying the script! What's the script you ask? Well, Sis, it's the Word of God!
He has a script prepared for you so that you know exactly what to say when life yells, "Action"! He has laid out line by line what you need to say, how you need to reply, and even what you should express when the pressure is on and all lights are on you!
Don't you dare wait until the moment to try to come up with your own response. Don't try to wing it when the pressures of life invade your space. Spend some time right now reviewing the script, familiarizing yourself with what it says, and even memorizing your lines.
When you and your spouse are not on the same page - go back to the script.
When you and your spouse are encountering financial or emotional challenges - go back to the script.
When your children are not living up to their potential - go back to the script.
When you need to encourage and speak life to your spouse - go back to the script!
No matter what you are facing, God has laid out a perfect script for you to follow. He doesn't ask you to learn anyone else's lines. He just wants you to focus on your own. As the director, He knows the role that everyone needs to play in order for their to be an effective finished product. Your role is simply to spend time with the script and then stick to it when the time comes.
The cameras will roll. The curtain will come up. Will you be ready when He yells, "ACTION"?
2 Timothy 2:15
Stick to the script, Dear Sister! Stick to the script! No actor becomes successful by showing up to the movie set without knowing the lines. They spend months studying and reviewing the provided script. They familiarize themselves with it knowing that the day is coming when the director will yell, "action", and they must be prepared for that moment. Can I suggest to you today that you need to do the same thing? You need to spend time studying the script! What's the script you ask? Well, Sis, it's the Word of God!
He has a script prepared for you so that you know exactly what to say when life yells, "Action"! He has laid out line by line what you need to say, how you need to reply, and even what you should express when the pressure is on and all lights are on you!
Don't you dare wait until the moment to try to come up with your own response. Don't try to wing it when the pressures of life invade your space. Spend some time right now reviewing the script, familiarizing yourself with what it says, and even memorizing your lines.
When you and your spouse are not on the same page - go back to the script.
When you and your spouse are encountering financial or emotional challenges - go back to the script.
When your children are not living up to their potential - go back to the script.
When you need to encourage and speak life to your spouse - go back to the script!
No matter what you are facing, God has laid out a perfect script for you to follow. He doesn't ask you to learn anyone else's lines. He just wants you to focus on your own. As the director, He knows the role that everyone needs to play in order for their to be an effective finished product. Your role is simply to spend time with the script and then stick to it when the time comes.
The cameras will roll. The curtain will come up. Will you be ready when He yells, "ACTION"?
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