Monday's Marriage Moment - Are You Unstable?

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
James 1: 6 - 8

I am not the same woman John married almost 19 years ago. I don't think the same way. I don't feel the same way. I don't look at things the same way. It's okay, though, because he is not the same man I married either. We both have grown and changed. We don't get upset about the same things that might have caused us to be mad for days years ago. We have learned more. We appreciate each other more. No, we are not the same people we used to be, and that is a good thing.

Change is good, and it is really good when two people are growing together. Change can keep things fresh and exciting, but change can also cause stress and confusion. Change becomes a problem when it becomes instability. Instability is defined as "the tendency to behave in an unpredictable, changeable, or erratic manner". For example, when your spouse leaves for work you are happy and excited, but when he comes home for lunch you are angry and mean. That is instability. If you fly off the handle at the slightest thing - that's an example of instability. If one moment you love him and have pictures of the two of you all over social media and the next you are screaming for a divorce - that's instability...and it is not ok.

Men and women don't often look for the same things in a relationship, but one thing we all want is stability. We want to know that we are secure and safe, and the one place that needs to be certain is in our marriage. Our spouse needs to know that even on our worst day, we are consistent in our love and care for them. It doesn't mean we never get upset or have a bad day, but it does mean that we are so consistent that a bad day doesn't ruin our marriage.

Our society praises flexibility and change. Celebrities make and break marriages at the speed of light. The sanctity of marriage is under attack. Our marriages need to be rock solid. They need to be grounded in the word of God. That means we need to be rooted and grounded. We can't be like the one James describes in the scripture above - tossed by the wind. We can't be "till death do us part" today, and "I'm filing for a divorce" tomorrow. We need stability. God is stable. He is consistent. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. We need to adapt those qualities when it comes to our faith and our relationships. Determine this week to be consistent and stable. Choose one area of your life that needs more consistency and take a step to make it happen. You don't have to be unstable!