On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side.”
-Mark 4:35
I am on the other side. I don't think I realized it until this morning. Today, John and I have been married for 18 years. When, I woke up this morning, 18 years after we stood at the altar and promised to love, cherish, and honor each other, I was amazingly aware that I had made it to the other side. There are some battles that I don't have to fight any more. I have gained wisdom in some areas. John and I have resolved that we are to be together for the rest of our lives, and we are choosing to use the strength of our unity to empower other couples to do the same.
In order to celebrate the other side, however, you must appreciate how you got there. Eighteen years ago we were a naive couple who did not fully comprehend what marriage was. We just both knew that we were supposed to be together. Like the disciples on the boat in Mark 4, we just knew that we were supposed to take this journey. Jesus, told them, "Let us cross over to the other side", and so they set sail. John and I did the same thing. We said, "I do", and embarked on the journey of marriage. We didn't even know that there was an other side to get to. Then, just like the disciples, we encountered some unexpected storms. There were many times that our "boat" was tossed to and fro, and there were many times that we were not sure that it was going to survive the storm. At times we felt like we were drowning, and at times we felt like the winds and waves would overtake us. Again, just like the disciples, fear and panic was our response, but we called on Jesus to help us. You know what He did? He calmed the wins. He gave us His peace, and we made it to the other side. John and I still face storms. The difference is that now we face them together. We have experienced enough to know that Jesus is in the boat with us.
As I write this, I am flooded with emotion, and tears have no choice but to fall. They are tears of thankfulness, however. I am not just celebrating our 18 year anniversary today, I am celebrating every year in between. See, you can't appreciate where you are without appreciating how you got where you are. I am thankful for those things that grew me and matured me, and I am thankful that God didn't waste one minute of that time. I can't go back in time to tell my 24 year-old self that she is going to make it - that she will cross over, but I can do everything in my power to tell every other wife that she will. I can tell my story - share my hurts, pains, tragedies, and triumphs - so that someone else won't have to endure every storm that I had to endure. I can let God use me to snatch marriages out of the enemy's grip; empower wives who have given up hope; and disciple couples who are going through what I went through. See, that's the beauty of crossing over. You get to help someone else to do the same. Dear wife, you will cross over! It won't always be like this. If you remember that God is with you and trust Him to calm your storms, you will enter a new place. Don't let this storm take you out! Don't let it overtake you. Mark 5:1 says, "Then they came to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gadarenes". The disciples crossed over, and you will to!
Monday, April 24, 2017
Monday, April 17, 2017
Monday's Marriage Moment -- It's Going to be Alright!
It's going to be alright. Every now and then you simply need someone to tell you that is going to be alright. They may not have the answer, but just hearing those words can provide some sense of comfort. That's how I felt this weekend when John and I received some challenging news. It wasn't the type of news that rocks you to your core like someone's death or hospitalization, but it was the kind of news that makes you anxious or worried. The kind of news that shatters your plans and reminds you that you really aren't in control.
I think this is why God gave us marriage. He knew that life was going to throw you curve balls. He knew that sometimes it is just hard, and He knew that you needed a person to go through it with you. Yes, He has given us great friends, and they have their place, but there are some things that only the one intimate with you can share. He knew that there would be some mountains that you had to climb together. He knew that there would be battles that would require you to stand in partnership to fight. The bible says this in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12:
Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
In marriage, we get to help each other through. When I am weak, John is strong and vice versa. The beautiful thing is that we don't have to do this alone. We don't have to walk through the darkness by ourselves. So, this weekend I experienced the beauty of not having to carry the load by myself. Where in years past I would have gone into panic mode, I rested. I leaned on the man that God has given me. Yes, I know the word. Yes, I have a wonderful relationship with God through Christ. But God provided me what I needed through my husband this time. I asked him one simple question: Is it going to be alright? His response was also simple: It's going to be alright. He didn't judge me. He didn't question my faith. He didn't remind me that I am an ordained elder or the founder of Believing Wives. He provided me a safe place to just have a moment. He simply assured me. For now, that is enough.
I believe the words God used my husband to tell me. I am not worried or anxious. I am trusting. It is my prayer not only that your husband provides comfort and assurance to you, but I pray that you provide comfort and assurance for him. Make your marriage a safe place where you can have open and honest conversation about your challenges and fears as well as your triumphs and victories. I pray that you take advantage of any opportunity God gives you this week to demonstrate that it's going to be absolutely alright.
Monday, April 10, 2017
Monday's Marriage Moment -- The Purge
I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
-John 15:1 - 4
I am happily on Spring Break this week, and though I would love to be on the beach feeling a gentle breeze and gazing at the beautiful water, I am at home. My children are on different schedules, so I am getting much needed rest and relaxation right here in the Bull City. As I sit here, fighting some type of cold or flu virus, I am feeling an overwhelming urge to purge. Maybe it is because the seasons have changed, or maybe it is because it is the first time I have gotten the opportunity to do so since Christmas break. Either way, it is time to get rid of some old stuff and make room for the new. Quite naturally, there are clothes and trinkets that have over-stayed their usefulness, but today I feel that God wants to purge more than my closets.
Purge means to get rid of whatever is impure or undesirable; to cleanse; to purify. God is leading me to purge some old habits, attitudes, and even old ways of doing things. There are some things in me or concerning me that are no longer desirable. Maybe they had purpose years ago, but they are ineffective now. I have to be wise enough and brave enough to let them go. He is leading me into new adventures in ministry (and life), and that is going to require me to do things differently. As more time is used to study, write, and prepare for ministry, I have to eliminate things that have previously taken my time. I also have to make sure that my husband, family, and loved ones know that they are still the priority. I am sure that God is leading you into new things as well, are there things that He is asking you to lay aside so that you can be free to serve Him fully?
I have found one of the most effective means God uses to get my attention is my husband. I can tell from his actions, words, and behavior when I need to adapt and adjust. I have to listen when he makes comments on my behavior. I have to learn from his nonverbal cues. I have to engage in real conversation with him and be prepared for his input. Sometimes he lets me know that I need to get rid of a negative attitude or selfishness. Sometimes he tells me I need to refine my words. I have to trust that he says those things for my good, and that I will be better if I take heed to them.
Are there things in your spiritual life that you need to purge? Could God be using this time to empty you of some things that are unwanted or undesirable? Is He using your spouse or someone close to you to purify you? I encourage you to let the Master Vinedresser take away everything in you that is not bearing fruit so that ultimately you can be more productive!
-John 15:1 - 4
I am happily on Spring Break this week, and though I would love to be on the beach feeling a gentle breeze and gazing at the beautiful water, I am at home. My children are on different schedules, so I am getting much needed rest and relaxation right here in the Bull City. As I sit here, fighting some type of cold or flu virus, I am feeling an overwhelming urge to purge. Maybe it is because the seasons have changed, or maybe it is because it is the first time I have gotten the opportunity to do so since Christmas break. Either way, it is time to get rid of some old stuff and make room for the new. Quite naturally, there are clothes and trinkets that have over-stayed their usefulness, but today I feel that God wants to purge more than my closets.
Purge means to get rid of whatever is impure or undesirable; to cleanse; to purify. God is leading me to purge some old habits, attitudes, and even old ways of doing things. There are some things in me or concerning me that are no longer desirable. Maybe they had purpose years ago, but they are ineffective now. I have to be wise enough and brave enough to let them go. He is leading me into new adventures in ministry (and life), and that is going to require me to do things differently. As more time is used to study, write, and prepare for ministry, I have to eliminate things that have previously taken my time. I also have to make sure that my husband, family, and loved ones know that they are still the priority. I am sure that God is leading you into new things as well, are there things that He is asking you to lay aside so that you can be free to serve Him fully?
I have found one of the most effective means God uses to get my attention is my husband. I can tell from his actions, words, and behavior when I need to adapt and adjust. I have to listen when he makes comments on my behavior. I have to learn from his nonverbal cues. I have to engage in real conversation with him and be prepared for his input. Sometimes he lets me know that I need to get rid of a negative attitude or selfishness. Sometimes he tells me I need to refine my words. I have to trust that he says those things for my good, and that I will be better if I take heed to them.
Are there things in your spiritual life that you need to purge? Could God be using this time to empty you of some things that are unwanted or undesirable? Is He using your spouse or someone close to you to purify you? I encourage you to let the Master Vinedresser take away everything in you that is not bearing fruit so that ultimately you can be more productive!
Monday, April 3, 2017
Monday's Marriage Moment -- Shelter in Place!
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”
-Psalm 91:1-2
I was feeling a bit overwhelmed this morning thinking about the things I need to accomplish this week, and I heard these words in my head: shelter in place. That phrase may not have any meaning for you, but as a public school educator for over 15 years those words have great value for me. See, in April 1999, students at Columbine High School initiated an attack on students and teachers that made that phrase have meaning. Their attack shocked the world. The education system went into high alert, and we developed procedures and systems to protect our children and staff if they ever came under attack. If ever there is an outside threat (be it a person or severe weather), we have to go into what is called "lock down". We have to close and lock our doors, cover and close our windows, hide or get out of any lines of sights, and remain perfectly quiet. We also call this "shelter in place". That means stop where you are and do the things I mentioned immediately.
Some of us are under real attack right now. We are feeling the threat of an outside intruder. You may be overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, or sick. The enemy has an arsenal equipped with ways to attack us. I encourage you to shelter in place! Perhaps you need to find a room and lock the door, close the blinds, and get away from the windows. Remove yourself from his line of sight! Get away from the hustle and bustle and demands of the world, and have an old fashioned shut-in even if it is just for a few minutes. Jesus had to take time away from the needs of the world and the disciples, so certainly we need to as well. Then you need to be quiet. There is so much noise in our world that sometimes we become distracted, but I want to encourage you to find time to simply be quiet before the Lord. Turn off the phone. Turn off the TV. Go into your closet if you have to, but make the time to be still and quiet. As the author of Psalm 46 said, "Be still and know that I am God". Quiet your mind and soul and know that God is going to keep and protect you.
God has a place of safety for you. In Psalm 91, He invites you to dwell in the secret place with Him. The secret place is not a physical place, but it is your place of prayer and devotion to Him. It's your quiet place. It is where you lock down with Him knowing that He is your refuge and fortress. He will protect you from whatever attack is coming against you, your family, your marriage, your finances, and any other assault that the enemy has in mind. Read the entire chapter of Psalm 91. In it God promises deliverance, protection, shelter, promotion, and salvation. He will give you what you need to survive the attack.
I am sounding the alarm! It is time to lock down! Shelter in place!
-Psalm 91:1-2
I was feeling a bit overwhelmed this morning thinking about the things I need to accomplish this week, and I heard these words in my head: shelter in place. That phrase may not have any meaning for you, but as a public school educator for over 15 years those words have great value for me. See, in April 1999, students at Columbine High School initiated an attack on students and teachers that made that phrase have meaning. Their attack shocked the world. The education system went into high alert, and we developed procedures and systems to protect our children and staff if they ever came under attack. If ever there is an outside threat (be it a person or severe weather), we have to go into what is called "lock down". We have to close and lock our doors, cover and close our windows, hide or get out of any lines of sights, and remain perfectly quiet. We also call this "shelter in place". That means stop where you are and do the things I mentioned immediately.
Some of us are under real attack right now. We are feeling the threat of an outside intruder. You may be overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, or sick. The enemy has an arsenal equipped with ways to attack us. I encourage you to shelter in place! Perhaps you need to find a room and lock the door, close the blinds, and get away from the windows. Remove yourself from his line of sight! Get away from the hustle and bustle and demands of the world, and have an old fashioned shut-in even if it is just for a few minutes. Jesus had to take time away from the needs of the world and the disciples, so certainly we need to as well. Then you need to be quiet. There is so much noise in our world that sometimes we become distracted, but I want to encourage you to find time to simply be quiet before the Lord. Turn off the phone. Turn off the TV. Go into your closet if you have to, but make the time to be still and quiet. As the author of Psalm 46 said, "Be still and know that I am God". Quiet your mind and soul and know that God is going to keep and protect you.
God has a place of safety for you. In Psalm 91, He invites you to dwell in the secret place with Him. The secret place is not a physical place, but it is your place of prayer and devotion to Him. It's your quiet place. It is where you lock down with Him knowing that He is your refuge and fortress. He will protect you from whatever attack is coming against you, your family, your marriage, your finances, and any other assault that the enemy has in mind. Read the entire chapter of Psalm 91. In it God promises deliverance, protection, shelter, promotion, and salvation. He will give you what you need to survive the attack.
I am sounding the alarm! It is time to lock down! Shelter in place!
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