And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
-Genesis 2:18-25
Why did you get married? Was it because of love? Was it because you wanted to have sex and not feel guilty? Was it because you thought it was the right thing to do? There are a million reasons why people say "I do", but I wonder how many of them really line up with God's purpose for marriage. I think many couples finally get a true understanding of what marriage is, but most don't start with that knowledge. I love being married, and I love what marriage entails, but it has taken me years to begin to understand my role in marriage. It's not just cooking and cleaning and having sex. It's so much more than that. In Genesis 2:18, God desired that Adam would have a helper. So, he took a rib from the inside of Adam and placed it beside him. There was nothing already created that would do what God needed to be done. So, he creatively created woman for a unique purpose. Then He presented her to Adam. She was a gift for him. If you are a wife, you are a gift for your husband. You were created to help him. Even though you are to help him, you are not less than him. Note that this version says "comparable to him". That means equal to him. Actually, you are to help each other. You should push each other to be all that God has you to be. Too often, that is not the case. I have been guilty myself of not being the helper I should be.
Before I left home this morning, John asked me what could he do to help me. The ministry God has given me launches tomorrow, and he wanted to make sure that he helped out. See, he has a business that he is trying to grow, and instead of thinking about himself and what he needed to do, he thought about me. It blessed me and checked my spirit at the same time. Do I help him as much as he helps me? Am I as much of a blessing to him as he is to me? Am I building or tearing down? I learned in high school science that there are three types of relationships in which two different species live and interact together. The first one is mutualism: this is when both partners benefit. This is the type of relationship God designed for us. The husband and the wife should thrive together. Where one is weak the other is strong, and there union produces the best for each partner. Was I thinking about his business as much as he was thinking about my ministry? The second type of relationship is commensalism: in this relationship one partner benefits, but the other partner is not helped or harmed. This is the type of relationship where one person doesn't openly try to hurt or attack the other, but they do make sure that things work out to benefit themselves. In my example, I take care of home and try to be a good wife and mother, but am I more concerned with myself than I am with him? The last type of relationship is parasitism: You are probably familiar with this term. It is where one party benefits and the other loses. When a parasite is in a body, it grows while the body deteriorates. In a relationship, one spouse takes and never gives. Am I giving as much as I am taking? A relational parasite leads to the death of the marriage and the damage of the other spouse. What is the point of this science lesson? I want you to think about what type of relationship you have with your spouse. Are you both benefiting or is one spouse being harmed? Is it all about you or all about us? Does one party win while the other party loses? Is it mutually beneficial in one aspect but parasitic in others? Take some time this week to review this science lesson. I pray that your relationship is mutually beneficial, and that if it isn't you will take the necessary steps to make it so.
Blessings!
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