Monday's Marriage Moment -- Adapt!

I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
-Philippians 4:12 - 13

Charles Darwin is often incorrectly credited with this quote: It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one most adaptable to change. I don't ascribe to Darwin's theories of evolution by any means, but I certainly believe there is merit to this quote (whether he actually said it or not). As someone who loves consistency and predictably, I find it challenging to write these words. Nevertheless, if we want successful marriages, or relationships in general, we must be adaptable. Your spouse today is not the same person you married years ago. Prayerfully, they have grown and changed for the better. That means that we must do likewise if we want to maintain a great relationship. John and I have been married for 17 years. In that time, we have had more children, job changes, home changes, and church changes. We have moved cities and gained and lost acquaintances. The way our marriage looks today is drastically different than it looked 17 years ago. I don't know if we would have made it without either of us adapting. God has consistently been showing me areas that need me to adapt even more. Adapt doesn't mean that I give up who I am for someone else. It means to become adjusted to new conditions. When John had a career change I had to become adjusted to new conditions. When I had a career change, John had to become adjusted to new conditions. Neither of us can say we refuse to adjust if we want the marriage to work. We can't say I am going this far, but I will not change anything else ever. No, that is not marriage. Nor is it a good reflection of Christ's relationship with us. Yes, He is the God who changes not, but He is perfect and, therefore, has no need to change. You and I, dear sister and brother, have lots of room to change. We have to be flexible and adaptable. The apostle Paul wasn't married, but in the scripture above, he offers us great advice. He said he knew how to be abased and how to abound. He knew how to be full and hungry, to have what he needed and to lack some things. What is he really saying? He knows how to adapt to the situation. In our marriages there will be great times and challenging times. There will be times when the husbands are leading beautifully and times when they need support. There will be times when the wives are effective in their roles and times when they need support. We have to adapt to all of those times knowing that we can do it as God gives us strength. Charles Darwin's premise was that if an organism doesn't adapt to changing conditions they would end up extinct -- adapt or die. Our marriages are living organisms that must respond to changing conditions. Whatever area the Lord is asking you to adapt or be flexible in I implore you to listen. The health, the very life of your marriage, may depend on it. Blessings!