Monday's Marriage Moment - You're Married to God

For your Maker is your husband,
The Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth.
-Isaiah 54:5

A few months ago, I hosted my first ever Believing Wives Retreat. This time away was for wives only. My 10-year old daughter wanted badly to come away with us, but I kept telling her it was for wives only. In her frustration one day, she exclaimed, "I don't see why I can't come. I am married to God". At the time, her response caused me to laugh, but for some reason this morning God brought her exclamation back to my mind. I was praying about being a better wife, and He said this to me, "If you want to be a better wife to John, you need to be a better wife to Me". Ouch! Those words hit me like a ton of bricks.

God reminded me that before I am John's wife I am His. The day I walked to the altar and received Him as my personal savior was our wedding day. I am in covenant with God, and therefore, His wife. As God's wife, I need to do more than be faithful (just like I need to do more than just be faithful to John). If I want my union with God to be powerful and lasting, I need to prioritize Him.

• I need to make sure that we are communicating effectively. Seeing as how communication is one of the major "marriage killers", I need to make sure that my communication with God is open and honest. Do I talk to him often? Do I listen when He talks? Do I unload all of my stuff on Him without stopping to hear what is on His mind? Do I seek His approval and opinion before I seek any other opinion?
• I need to make sure that we spend time together. Do I talk to Him before I start my day? when I end my day? throughout the day? Do I spend regular quality time with Him. Do I show Him how much I value that time?
• I need to make sure that we are intimate. No marriage will remain whole if intimacy is not present. I need to be intimate with God by being open and honest with Him. I can pour out my heart to Him. I can trust Him with everything. There can be no hiding and no secrets in our relationship.

There is a direct correlation between our marriage to God and our marriage to our spouse. If we want to be better wives to our husbands, we need to be better wives to God.

Monday's Marriage Moment - What Are You Praying For?

Then Joshua spoke to the Lord in the day when the Lord delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel:
“Sun, stand still over Gibeon;
And Moon, in the Valley of Aijalon.”
So the sun stood still,
And the moon stopped,
Till the people had revenge
Upon their enemies.
-Joshua 10:12-13

Joshua prayed and the sun stood still. Wow! The sun - the one that rises and sets - stood still in the sky. I read that verse of scripture, and it challenged and convicted me. Am I praying on this level? Am I praying for the miraculous to happen in my life (and actually believing that it will happen)? Or am I praying run of the mill, "Lord bless them", prayers?

As I reflect, men and women in the bible prayed bold, faith-filled prayers. Joshua prayed that the sun stand still. Elijah prayed that it would not rain. Hannah prayed for a son. Do you know what happened in every case? The sun stood still. It didn't rain for three years. Hannah conceived a son. Their request was granted. Their prayers were answered. So, what are we praying for?

When we pray for our marriages are we praying minimal and basic prayers or bold, audacious, out of our reach prayers? Are we praying for something that we can make happen or something only God can make happen?

When we pray for our husbands are we praying generic prayers or are we praying "sun stand still prayers"?

If we aren't praying boldly, why not? Do we believe that we can pray boldly? Do we believe that God can answer? that He will answer? Why aren't we praying like Elijah, Joshua, and so many others that are examples in our bibles? We have the power of the Holy Spirit residing in us! We have the supernatural ability to pray for the miraculous and see it happen.

I challenge you this week to pray boldy! Pray for things that only God can do! Pray "sun stand still" prayers and watch God work!

Monday's Marriage Moment - You've Got The Power!

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives
1 Peter 3:1

You aren't just a wife. You aren't just a mother. You aren't JUST anything! So many times we use the word "just" to describe who we are and what we do, but the word "just" means "barely or by a narrow margin" according to the dictionary. You aren't barely or narrowly anything! You are a daughter of the King! Stop minimizing who you are! Perhaps, we minimize ourselves - our gifts and abilities - to make others feel better. Maybe we do it because we have some insecurities about them. Maybe we do it because we have been taught to, but today I would like to remind you, Believing Wife,  who you are, and I want you to own every bit of it!

Godly wives - Believing Wives - are powerful! In the bible, it was a wife named Deborah that ruled and governed based on God's word. It was a wife named Sarah, that embodied faithfulness and stood with Abraham even when he was tripping. It was a wife named Mary that stood on the truth of God's word and became pregnant with Christ, even when her husband wanted to put her away and society would have desired to stone her. It was a wife named Abigail that interceded for her husband (clearly a fool) when his actions could have cost them all their lives. It was a wife, we know her as the Shunnamite Woman, who made a room for the prophet of God to stay and thus brought blessing to her home and husband because of it!

This is the power that we have been given by God as wives! This is the role to which we have been called. Do you not know, dear wife, that you can win your husband without saying a word (1 Peter 3:1)? Do you not know that you have the power of influence that can be used for either good or evil (remember Eve influenced Adam to eat the apple and Delilah influence Samson to reveal the source of his strength)? Do you not know that you can set atmospheres and shift climates? Do you know that you can pray and things change? Do you know that you have power?

Do you know who you are? If not, today is a good day to get acquainted with the wife God has called you to be! He has called you to be powerful, skillful, and sharp! He has called you to discern and detect what is happening both in and to your spouse and to war on his behalf! You don't even have to open your mouth! Your actions and conduct can call things to order! Take your rightful place, Believing Wife! You have power. Use it well!

Monday's Marriage Moment - Make Room for God!

And she said to her husband, “Look now, I know that this is a holy man of God, who passes by us regularly. Please, let us make a small upper room on the wall; and let us put a bed for him there, and a table and a chair and a lampstand; so it will be, whenever he comes to us, he can turn in there.”

2 Kings 4:9-10

Dear Wife, make room for God. Set aside time for him. Set aside a location where you can fellowship. Set aside yourself to hear what He wants to say. I know – you probably have a solid relationship with God already. You probably regularly attend worship service and fellowship with other believers. I am sure that you have a regular devotion and prayer time. I guess that you are pretty solid, but I believe that there are some ways that even you can make more room for God:

• Maybe you can make room for God to speak to your husband rather than trying to convince Him yourself?
• Maybe you can make room for peace to reign in your home?
• Maybe you can make room for God in your schedule?

Yeah, there are plenty of ways that we need to make room for God. In our passage for today, this woman watched Elijah pass by time after time. She knew he was a man of God, and she decided that she didn’t just want him to pass by. She didn’t just want him to visit. She wanted to provide a place for him to dwell. She recognized the greatness that was in his life, and she wanted that in her home.

Have you seen the greatness of God? Have you seen what He can do? Have you seen His power in your life? Don’t you want that in your home? I encourage you to make room for him.

Note that this wife didn’t wait for her husband to suggest that they build a room. She took it upon herself to do so. There will be times that you will have to do it first. You may have to initiate spiritual activities. I know it can be frustrating, but if you do it with a pure heart you will see great rewards! So, if you have to make room for God by initiating prayer do it! If you have to make room for God by initiating church fellowship do it! If you have to make room for God by initiating bible study do it! Make room for God!

Clear your schedule if you must, but by all means make room for God.

Monday's Marriage Moment - So Tired I Could Cry

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
-2 Corinthians 12:9

Have you ever been so tired that you could cry? That was how I felt Saturday morning. I was attending/volunteering for an amazing conference. I had been on my feet serving for over 12 hours for the last couple of days. I was standing in worship at 6:00am prayer, and I was tired. I wanted to lift my hands and tell God how amazing He is. I wanted to bow down and worship Him. I wanted to exclaim how great He is, but all I could do is stand there and let the tears fall. I had no words - no eloquent earthly or heavenly language. Like Hannah in the book of Samule I made no noise. All I had was tears.

I spent my time in worship allowing my tears to fall freely. I knew that God understood them. I knew that He was not upset with me or disappointed in me. I believe that He appreciated my raw honesty before Him. He knew that my schedule was full for the rest of the day - minister at another conference, return to this conference, ensure that my children got where they needed to go. He knew that I would unexpectedly have to minister the next day. So I believe that He welcomed my tears.

I was reminded of the verse that I have listed for today. His grace is sufficient. It is enough. Why? Because His strength is made perfect in our weakness. I was definitely weak, but His strength carried me through that day and the next. He allowed me to minister effectively, parent effectively, and be a wife effectively. God is showing me that He wants to do that for me every day - not just on the days when I feel that I can't handle it. He wants to consistently be my strength. So, I have to consistently come to Him and make that exchange - my weakness for His strength.

Are you tired? Are you overwhelmed with the responsibilities that you have? Take a few minutes to let God strengthen you. He is okay if you just sit in His presence and let the tears fall. He is fine if you can't quite find the words to say. He just wants you to come to Him. I assure you that you will leave your time together refreshed and renewed.

Monday's Marriage Moment - Check Your Warranty!

For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.

 Colossians 1:16

I bought a small appliance not too long ago, and the cashier asked me if I would like the warranty. I know she was doing her job, but I found her question funny since the warranty cost just as much as the appliance. As a matter of fact, it would have been more cost effective to buy another one instead of getting the warranty! Needless to say, I declined the warranty on this purchase.

Yet, I typically do get the warranty on larger investments. I like the convenience and the security of knowing that if something goes wrong or doesn’t work properly I can contact the manufacturer to repair or replace the defective device. That saves me time, worries, and money. All I have to do is contact the manufacturer and tell them what the problem is, show proof of purchase and warranty, and wait for them to make good on their end of the deal.

It may seem like a stretch to you, but marriage is the same way. Your marriage is a huge investment, and God is the manufacturer of it. It was His idea. He created it, developed it, and made it available to all of us. It’s not a good idea. It’s not a creative idea. It’s not a solution to loneliness or a goal to be achieved. It’s designed by God intentionally. He created it with purpose and for purpose. Before He instituted offices and callings, before He instituted schools and government, even before He created families and community He instituted marriage. So, why is it that we don’t contact the manufacturer when something in our marriage is not working as it should? Why don’t we pull out our warranty – “the written guarantee issued by the manufacturer” that promises to repair that which is broken?

We often tell our friends what the problem is. Some of us even go to social media with the problem. Very few of us go back to God, and His word (the warranty), to get a solution. Can I encourage you to talk to the Manufacturer this week? No matter how big or small He promises to address every concern. Your proof of purchase is the shed blood of Jesus Christ! That’s all the receipt you need. He purchased you Himself. So, go to Him, and tell him what needs to be repaired or replaced:

·         God you said that we are one in the warranty (Genesis 2:24), but we are not on the same page. Can you repair our hearts?

·         The warranty says that our home should be in order (Ephesians 5:22 – 24). Can you replace our disorder with your order?

·         The warranty says that we should love each other like you love the church (Ephesians 5:25 – 33). Can you repair our love for one another?

·         The warranty says that we should have humility and patience for one another in love (Ephesians 4:2). Can you give us patience in the place of our short tempers?

·         The warranty says that the husband should rejoice in his wife, and that we should be satisfied in our intimacy (Proverbs 5:18 – 19). Can you renew our passion?

·         The warranty says our communication should be graceful and edifying (Ephesians 4:29). Can you repaired our communication and replace our harsh words with words of kindness and love?

God is longing to work on your behalf. Bring your concerns and cares to Him. Take your marriage back to the Manufacturer this week and expect repair or replacement in every area. After all, the warranty only works if you use it!

Monday's Marriage Moment - The Purge!

But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour. If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work.
2 Timothy 2:20-21

I took too much stuff. I promised myself that I wouldn't but I did. Every time I have moved since being an adult I have taken too much stuff. The same thing happened to me the last time I moved. I still have boxes that I haven't unpacked and stuff I haven't gone through. You know how it is: after you have been packing for days you stop going through every item and start just throwing things in boxes. That inevitably leads to taking too much stuff.

We don't just do this when packing for a move we also do it as we navigate life. We take too much stuff to the next place - the next relationship, the next assignment, the next thing. We take our old mindset into our new relationship. We take past hurts into our new adventure. We take things that have gotten too small or are too worn - things that no longer fit - into our new place and wonder why we don't have room in our closets.

Some of us are making our current husbands pay for what previous men did. Some of us have never really addressed things that did in fact happen with our current husbands. Others of us are carrying hurts and self-esteem issues from our childhood. We never really dealt with the stuff we were holding on to and so it's taking up space - sitting unopened smack dab in the middle of our homes. It takes a lot of time and energy to open those boxes and examine each piece. It takes a lot of courage to make objective decisions about the things we have carried when our feelings want to run away from them.

Our scripture reminds us that even when the house is "great" there are vessels there that don't belong. No matter how wonderful your marriage, how successful you are, how many things you have accomplished there are things that God wants to remove from your life so that you can grow. Actually, He wants you to remove them (note the scriptures says "if a man purge himself") so you can grow. I think it is time for some spring cleaning. Take inventory this week to see what things - what traits, qualities, issues, and concerns - God wants you to purge. Is there unforgiveness? bitterness? anger? low self-esteem? rejection? pride? What vessels of dishonor is God speaking to you about? Will you be brave enough to sit down and begin to go through it? He is right there with you ready to replace the things you purge with so much more!