as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue
2 Peter 1:3
I didn't realize what I had. My back tire has a slow leak, and for the past couple of weeks I have been putting air in it once a week (John is more than happy to do it for me, but I drive the truck and have more of an opportunity to do so - and I am a country girl, so I don't mind). We plan to buy a set of tires for the truck this week, and for a truck my size they are pretty expensive. Anyway, I was putting air in the tire last week, and just when I had finished I noticed something under my truck. Guess what it was? A tire! Not a spare tire or a used tire...an actual new tire for my truck secured under the trunk just waiting to be used.
I had been putting air in a old tire when I could have simply used the new tire. I didn't know what I had! How many of us have been providing life support to something old when we actually have something new already? Many of us have new clothes with tags on them hanging in our closets, but we keep wearing the same things. We have new opportunities, but we keep repeating the same patterns. We have scriptures that promise us newness, but we are content to hang on to the old.
I see the act of me pumping air into that tire as "dead works". Yeah, it would sustain me for a while, but it would need "life" breathed into it again. It would need refill after refill, and it really isn't that stable. Now, just to be clear, I'm not saying that your marriage or your husband is lifeless. I'm saying that some of our patterns are. Are you trying to repair and "make do" with a defective thing when God has given you something new.
For example, are you still trying to solve problems with your words? Are you still trying to "make" your husband act, be, or do certain things? Are you complaining, fussing, and fighting rather than using the "new" strategies God has given you. He has placed inside of you love, joy, and peace. Did you forget you had it? He has given you His Holy Spirit which comes with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Have you forgotten? You have power living on the inside of you. Do you realize that? You don't have to fight like others because God delights in fighting for you! You don't have to manipulate or control. Simply rely on God to show you the way and grant you peace.
And let me add this. It's often easy to forget the great things in your spouse because you see the issues. Don't miss these qualities. Write a list if you have to. Spend some time intently focusing on the things that drew you to them in the first place. So many people lose the 80% they have looking for the 20% they are missing. I encourage you today to realize what you have. Take inventory. It could save you lots of time and energy. Realize what you have!
Monday, July 23, 2018
Monday, July 16, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - It Will Work Out...Just Probably Not Like You Planned
I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through [Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:12-13
I like lists and schedules. I like plans and agendas. So, as usual, I had a plan for my day. I worked out as usual, and then I planned to be super domestic: I was cooking some homemade chicken and dumplings (with actual homemade dumplings - rolled out the dough and everything), and I had shucked some ears of corn. You have to be from the south to understand shucking corn! My daughter was making some homemade brownies, and I fully intended to eat and lounge for the remainder of the day. Then my plans changed. An emergency phone call cancelled those plans and sent me out of town.
As I reflect on the day, I realize that even though the emergency wasn't in my plan it was in God's. The events didn't catch Him by surprise. They didn't interfere with His schedule or agenda at all. He knew what was going to happen, and in subtle ways, He put things in place. My son had a ride to practice. Dinner was done. My husband was able to go with me to attend to the situation. We were able to provide love, support, and assistance to those who needed us.
So, I want to encourage you today that things will work out. They just won't typically work out as you plan them, and that is okay. I have seen that not just in today, but in the last few months and years. I had a plan for where I would be at this age. I had a plan for my family and friends. I had a plan for my career and finances. None of those things are exactly as I planned them, but many of them have worked out better. I had to learn to accept a better plan. As Paul indicates in our scripture, we have to be flexible enough to handle whatever comes. It's okay to have a plan, but we can't hold onto it so tightly that there is no room for God. Be flexible, Dear Friend! There will be interruptions, emergencies, and unexpected events. Know that God always has a plan - even when it's not a part of your plan!
Philippians 4:12-13
I like lists and schedules. I like plans and agendas. So, as usual, I had a plan for my day. I worked out as usual, and then I planned to be super domestic: I was cooking some homemade chicken and dumplings (with actual homemade dumplings - rolled out the dough and everything), and I had shucked some ears of corn. You have to be from the south to understand shucking corn! My daughter was making some homemade brownies, and I fully intended to eat and lounge for the remainder of the day. Then my plans changed. An emergency phone call cancelled those plans and sent me out of town.
As I reflect on the day, I realize that even though the emergency wasn't in my plan it was in God's. The events didn't catch Him by surprise. They didn't interfere with His schedule or agenda at all. He knew what was going to happen, and in subtle ways, He put things in place. My son had a ride to practice. Dinner was done. My husband was able to go with me to attend to the situation. We were able to provide love, support, and assistance to those who needed us.
So, I want to encourage you today that things will work out. They just won't typically work out as you plan them, and that is okay. I have seen that not just in today, but in the last few months and years. I had a plan for where I would be at this age. I had a plan for my family and friends. I had a plan for my career and finances. None of those things are exactly as I planned them, but many of them have worked out better. I had to learn to accept a better plan. As Paul indicates in our scripture, we have to be flexible enough to handle whatever comes. It's okay to have a plan, but we can't hold onto it so tightly that there is no room for God. Be flexible, Dear Friend! There will be interruptions, emergencies, and unexpected events. Know that God always has a plan - even when it's not a part of your plan!
Monday, July 2, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - Stick to the Script!
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
2 Timothy 2:15
Stick to the script, Dear Sister! Stick to the script! No actor becomes successful by showing up to the movie set without knowing the lines. They spend months studying and reviewing the provided script. They familiarize themselves with it knowing that the day is coming when the director will yell, "action", and they must be prepared for that moment. Can I suggest to you today that you need to do the same thing? You need to spend time studying the script! What's the script you ask? Well, Sis, it's the Word of God!
He has a script prepared for you so that you know exactly what to say when life yells, "Action"! He has laid out line by line what you need to say, how you need to reply, and even what you should express when the pressure is on and all lights are on you!
Don't you dare wait until the moment to try to come up with your own response. Don't try to wing it when the pressures of life invade your space. Spend some time right now reviewing the script, familiarizing yourself with what it says, and even memorizing your lines.
When you and your spouse are not on the same page - go back to the script.
When you and your spouse are encountering financial or emotional challenges - go back to the script.
When your children are not living up to their potential - go back to the script.
When you need to encourage and speak life to your spouse - go back to the script!
No matter what you are facing, God has laid out a perfect script for you to follow. He doesn't ask you to learn anyone else's lines. He just wants you to focus on your own. As the director, He knows the role that everyone needs to play in order for their to be an effective finished product. Your role is simply to spend time with the script and then stick to it when the time comes.
The cameras will roll. The curtain will come up. Will you be ready when He yells, "ACTION"?
2 Timothy 2:15
Stick to the script, Dear Sister! Stick to the script! No actor becomes successful by showing up to the movie set without knowing the lines. They spend months studying and reviewing the provided script. They familiarize themselves with it knowing that the day is coming when the director will yell, "action", and they must be prepared for that moment. Can I suggest to you today that you need to do the same thing? You need to spend time studying the script! What's the script you ask? Well, Sis, it's the Word of God!
He has a script prepared for you so that you know exactly what to say when life yells, "Action"! He has laid out line by line what you need to say, how you need to reply, and even what you should express when the pressure is on and all lights are on you!
Don't you dare wait until the moment to try to come up with your own response. Don't try to wing it when the pressures of life invade your space. Spend some time right now reviewing the script, familiarizing yourself with what it says, and even memorizing your lines.
When you and your spouse are not on the same page - go back to the script.
When you and your spouse are encountering financial or emotional challenges - go back to the script.
When your children are not living up to their potential - go back to the script.
When you need to encourage and speak life to your spouse - go back to the script!
No matter what you are facing, God has laid out a perfect script for you to follow. He doesn't ask you to learn anyone else's lines. He just wants you to focus on your own. As the director, He knows the role that everyone needs to play in order for their to be an effective finished product. Your role is simply to spend time with the script and then stick to it when the time comes.
The cameras will roll. The curtain will come up. Will you be ready when He yells, "ACTION"?
Monday, June 25, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - Can You See Clearly?
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
-Proverbs 19:11
No one can offend you like your spouse can. After all, they are the one that is closest to you.They see you at your best and at your worst. So, even though they are the person you love the most, they are also the one that is capable of causing the most harm. I know that they don't often mean to offend. Sometimes they are just telling the truth or maybe they make a callous statement that hits too close to home. Either way, an offense can be caused.
Your role is not to let the offense take root in your heart. See, offense can fester and grow. It can cause things to be blown out of proportion. Offense can blind you. It can cause you to only see what happened to hurt you and not all the good things that the other person did. Offense causes you to see what the person did to you, but it blinds you to what you may have done to the other person. Offense causes you to only see things through a lens of hurt and pain rather than objectively and clearly. Matthew 7:3-5 tells us to focus on our own shortcomings and then we can see clearly to help others. Make sure that you can see clearly.
Great people have ended good marriages over a bad moment. They focused more on the offense than the good times, God's great plan, and their future. So, we must deal with offense quickly. It comes to destroy. It separates. It poisons. It kills.
Overlook the offense if you can. Refuse to be offended. It is challenging, but you can do it. If your spouse has offended you I encourage you to clear the air. Spend some time with God to heal your heart. Be honest about your feelings with Him, and ask Him to keep you from bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness. Talk to your spouse about it, and do what you need to do to have a clear conscience. Act quickly. Reconcile. Move forward in power and unity.
-Proverbs 19:11
No one can offend you like your spouse can. After all, they are the one that is closest to you.They see you at your best and at your worst. So, even though they are the person you love the most, they are also the one that is capable of causing the most harm. I know that they don't often mean to offend. Sometimes they are just telling the truth or maybe they make a callous statement that hits too close to home. Either way, an offense can be caused.
Your role is not to let the offense take root in your heart. See, offense can fester and grow. It can cause things to be blown out of proportion. Offense can blind you. It can cause you to only see what happened to hurt you and not all the good things that the other person did. Offense causes you to see what the person did to you, but it blinds you to what you may have done to the other person. Offense causes you to only see things through a lens of hurt and pain rather than objectively and clearly. Matthew 7:3-5 tells us to focus on our own shortcomings and then we can see clearly to help others. Make sure that you can see clearly.
Great people have ended good marriages over a bad moment. They focused more on the offense than the good times, God's great plan, and their future. So, we must deal with offense quickly. It comes to destroy. It separates. It poisons. It kills.
Overlook the offense if you can. Refuse to be offended. It is challenging, but you can do it. If your spouse has offended you I encourage you to clear the air. Spend some time with God to heal your heart. Be honest about your feelings with Him, and ask Him to keep you from bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness. Talk to your spouse about it, and do what you need to do to have a clear conscience. Act quickly. Reconcile. Move forward in power and unity.
Monday, June 18, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - I Almost Messed Up!
The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.
Exodus 14:14
Sisters! I almost messed up! Whew! I mean...I really almost messed up. I was hurt. I was offended. I was angry, and I almost responded in that anger. I almost gave someone "a piece of my mind". I almost forgot who I was.
Yeah, I almost messed up! Almost - very nearly, all but, just short of - but I didn't. I am so glad that I can use the word "almost" today because there have been times in the past when I couldn't. There were times when I went all the way and rendered eveil for evil; that I met people right where they were. I wouldn't cuss or disrespect them, but I would come down to their level and give them what I felt was a necessary response.
Today, however, I realize that it is not necessary to respond. It is not necessary to make a list of points to prove how right I am. It is not necessary to defend. What is necessary is peace, and I will lose a lot more of that if I respond.
So, I am taking comfort in silence today. I would be lying if I told you that I don't want to respond because I really do...but I won't. I love God more than I love getting my way. I love His approval of me more than I do getting it off my chest. I love peace with Him more than giving someone a piece of my mind.
I remember who I am. I belong to God, and He has promised to vindicate me. I choose to let Him fight my battles. I encourage you today to do the same. No more arguing. No more making your case or trying to convince people that you are justified. No more meeting them where they are. No more.
God has you covered. He has promised to perfect all that concerns you. He will vindicate you. Remember who you are. Remember whose you are. Take your seat of authority and refuse to move. It's ok if you almost messed up...just don't go all the way!
Monday, June 11, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - He's Calling You Back
“Now, therefore,” says the Lord,
“Turn to Me with all your heart,
With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.”
So rend your heart, and not your garments;
Return to the Lord your God,
For He is gracious and merciful,
Slow to anger, and of great kindness;
And He relents from doing harm.
-Joel 2:12-13
I saw a meme yesterday that said, "if I say I'm calling you back just go ahead and enjoy the rest of your day". It made me laugh because sometimes I am guilty of that. I have good intentions to call you back, but I can get busy with other things and forget. Unlike me, God does not forget, and I believe that He is calling you back even now. Obviously, He is not making a phone call to you, but I believe that He is calling you back to a place in Him that you may have wandered from. He is calling you back to your position of prayer and peace. He is calling you back to spend time with Him away from all the noise and distractions.
As a wife, I know the pressures and responsibilities that we face. I know how easy it is to become focused on so many things that you aren't really focused on anything. I know what it is to get busy doing things and forget why you are doing them. So, I am sharing with you the message that God shared with me: I'm calling you back - back to His presence, back to His way of doing things, back to caring more about what He thinks and less about what others think. He is calling you back to His plan for your life and marriage.
Listen, God - the Creator of the universe - wants you. He sent Jesus to the cross in order to redeem you back to Himself. Yes, He wants your marriage to be successful. Yes, He wants your ministry to be successful. He wants your career, business, and life to be successful, but more than any of that He simply wants you. And if you really want to be successful, you should want Him more than anything else.
So, He is calling you back. Will you answer?
“Turn to Me with all your heart,
With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.”
So rend your heart, and not your garments;
Return to the Lord your God,
For He is gracious and merciful,
Slow to anger, and of great kindness;
And He relents from doing harm.
-Joel 2:12-13
I saw a meme yesterday that said, "if I say I'm calling you back just go ahead and enjoy the rest of your day". It made me laugh because sometimes I am guilty of that. I have good intentions to call you back, but I can get busy with other things and forget. Unlike me, God does not forget, and I believe that He is calling you back even now. Obviously, He is not making a phone call to you, but I believe that He is calling you back to a place in Him that you may have wandered from. He is calling you back to your position of prayer and peace. He is calling you back to spend time with Him away from all the noise and distractions.
As a wife, I know the pressures and responsibilities that we face. I know how easy it is to become focused on so many things that you aren't really focused on anything. I know what it is to get busy doing things and forget why you are doing them. So, I am sharing with you the message that God shared with me: I'm calling you back - back to His presence, back to His way of doing things, back to caring more about what He thinks and less about what others think. He is calling you back to His plan for your life and marriage.
Listen, God - the Creator of the universe - wants you. He sent Jesus to the cross in order to redeem you back to Himself. Yes, He wants your marriage to be successful. Yes, He wants your ministry to be successful. He wants your career, business, and life to be successful, but more than any of that He simply wants you. And if you really want to be successful, you should want Him more than anything else.
So, He is calling you back. Will you answer?
Monday, June 4, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - So Many Responsibilities!
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.
-1 Corinthians 10:13 (MSG)
I love being a wife, but it is not all that I am. I am a mother. I am a daughter and a sister. I am a minister and an author. I am a friend. I am an educator and a mentor. I am all of that and then some. I don't say that to boast. Chances are you have similar roles in your life, and you could probably add a few that I left out. I am pointing this out today because if I am not careful I can get out of balance.
I had a startling reality with one of my children this weekend that reminded me of my need to order all of my responsibilities. As much as I love teaching, ministering, and writing, I fully believe that my family comes first. However, sometimes my actions don't reflect this belief. That was hard to type!
It's not that I intentionally put other things first. It's actually very subtle, but if I am not focused other things can creep there way to to the top of my list. I can get caught up in ministering to wives, writing, or teaching and neglect the very people I hold so dear. I am guessing that perhaps you can too. Sometimes I think that they can handle things themselves or they will be fine, and I take care of things that I think need my attention, but the truth is that my family needs my attention. Maybe you get caught up serving in ministry or helping your friends. Maybe, for you, it's working on your business, launching a ministy, or working at your place of employment. Whatever it might be, I encourage you to take a harsh look at what is really important.
I never want to get so caught up in the public ministry that God has assigned me that I don't steward well the ministry He has given me at home. It's a delicate balance. Actually, it's a very clear order:
-1 Corinthians 10:13 (MSG)
I love being a wife, but it is not all that I am. I am a mother. I am a daughter and a sister. I am a minister and an author. I am a friend. I am an educator and a mentor. I am all of that and then some. I don't say that to boast. Chances are you have similar roles in your life, and you could probably add a few that I left out. I am pointing this out today because if I am not careful I can get out of balance.
I had a startling reality with one of my children this weekend that reminded me of my need to order all of my responsibilities. As much as I love teaching, ministering, and writing, I fully believe that my family comes first. However, sometimes my actions don't reflect this belief. That was hard to type!
It's not that I intentionally put other things first. It's actually very subtle, but if I am not focused other things can creep there way to to the top of my list. I can get caught up in ministering to wives, writing, or teaching and neglect the very people I hold so dear. I am guessing that perhaps you can too. Sometimes I think that they can handle things themselves or they will be fine, and I take care of things that I think need my attention, but the truth is that my family needs my attention. Maybe you get caught up serving in ministry or helping your friends. Maybe, for you, it's working on your business, launching a ministy, or working at your place of employment. Whatever it might be, I encourage you to take a harsh look at what is really important.
I never want to get so caught up in the public ministry that God has assigned me that I don't steward well the ministry He has given me at home. It's a delicate balance. Actually, it's a very clear order:
- God - Let's be clear. God is first. Not church. Not ministry. Not the things that go along with serving God, but God Himself is first. If we don't settle this we will overextend ourselves doing godly things without God's approval.
- Family - Our first ministry is our family. After God created Adam He created a wife and family for him. This should show us the significance of family in God's eyes.
- Everything else - Yep...everything else comes after God and family.
As I was presenting my requests to God, asking Him how to keep my life in right order with so many responsibilities, He gave me a very clear answer: trust Me. He reminded me that I was never designed to do it alone. Yes, I have an amazing husband that helps me more than I deserve, but I have almighty God walking this journey right beside me. Many times I don't rely on His strength until I have tried it all on my own, but I am declaring an end to that today. I'm asking Him for strategies and steps to handle all that He has put into my care, and I believe that He is going to show me exactly what to do. He already gave me the first step - trust Him. I encourage you to do the same.
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