When the morning dawned, the angels urged Lot to hurry, saying, “Arise, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be consumed in the punishment of the city.” And while he lingered, the men took hold of his hand, his wife’s hand, and the hands of his two daughters, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city.
-Genesis 19:15-16
I have heard and read the account of Lot and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah more times than I can name. Many times the speaker highlights Lot's wife - how she looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. That is a huge part of the account, but I was reading this passage over the weekend and something new jumped out at me. Look at verse 16: And while he lingered, the men took hold of his hand, his wife’s hand, and the hands of his two daughters, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city.
The very first part of that passage leaped off the page: and while he lingered. Lot lingered. He did not want to leave. Linger is defined as "to remain or stay on in a place longer than is usual or expected, as if from reluctance to leave" (dictionary.com). Lot did not want to leave. This place was filled with perversion and wickedness, but Lot did not want to leave it. The angel has told him that God is about to destroy the city, but Lot still lingers. He lingers to the point that the angel has to grab him by the hand and pull him and his family out. He is literally drug out of the city he knows is about to be destroyed.
Could it be, dear friend, that you have lingered to long in a place that God is trying to snatch you out of? It could be a physical place like a job or a church, but I want to speak more specifically to mental and spiritual places. Could it be that you have been stuck in a destructive mindset that God is trying to deliver you from? Are you stuck in past hurts and rejections? Are you lingering in offense? Sometimes things happen in our marriages that cause us to linger. You can recognize it with phrases such as "remember when" or "the last time this happened". Sometimes things happen that we can't seem to move from without divine assistance -- abuse, betrayal, lost opportunities, grief. These are the things that cause our guard to come up or cause us to build walls to defend ourselves. We think we are saving ourselves, but we are really trapping ourselves.
Lot lingered, but God was so merciful that He still saved him. I think God wants to do the same for us. Perhaps you can view this blog today as God's lovingkindness highlighting an area that you have lingered in for too long. Something may have happened to you this year that caused you to get stuck. It may have hurt so bad that it paralyzed you. Maybe now you look at everything through the lens of that hurt. Today is a good day to realize that you have stayed in that place too long. God is sending me today to tell you to get out of that place, that mindset, before it destroys you, your relationships, or your family. That's what happened to Lot's family. Lot lingered, but his wife was stuck. She was turned into a pillar of salt, and it caused her family to have to move on without her. This led to incest between the father and daughters, and many other destructive habits down the family line. All of this could have been avoided if Lot and his wife would have moved on from Sodom and Gomorrah in unity...if they would have left that place willingly...if they would not have lingered too long.
I pray as this year closes that God will show you where you have lingered too long, and may He give you the strength you need to move forward. May He send diving help to snatch you out of what has been set up to destroy you. Don't linger! What God has for you is always going to be better than what you left.
Monday, December 18, 2017
Monday, December 11, 2017
Monday's Marriage Moment - Plot Twist!
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
-Isaiah 55:8
John and I like to watch action and suspense movies together. Just when you think you know what is going to happen in these movies a new element is introduced or someone does something unexpected. It is at this point that John yells out, "plot twist!" He has even carried that phrase into every day life. If we encounter an unexpected surprise or blessing or if someone does something unexpected he yells out, "plot twist!" It has become a source of comedy for us. As I reflect on this year, this is the phrase that comes to mind. God has orchestrated some real plot twists in my life this year. Some of them have been great, and some of them have challenged me and stretched me.
God, as a master author -- the perfect creator, knows how to work out the plot twists in our lives. He knows exactly what we need to be who He has called us to be. He gives us a vision for our lives, but He doesn't show us every detail. He gives us the big rocks, and then He expects us to walk closely to Him as the plan unfolds. When we encounter the unexpected it is a "plot twist" for us, but He saw it the whole time. There are several instances in the bible where God mastered plot twists:
- Lazarus was dead. Actually, he was dead for 3 days, but then PLOT TWIST -- Jesus resurrects him!
- The widow woman was prepared for both her son and herself to die, but PLOT TWIST -- God uses Elisha and she has more than enough
- The Shunnamite woman's son was dead in an upper chamber, but PLOT TWIST -- God uses Elijah to bring him back to life
- Saul tried to kill David multiple times. He had him backed into corners over and over, but PLOT TWIST David survives and becomes the king
- Jesus Himself was crucified on the cross. They buried Him in a borrowed tomb, but PLOT TWIST -- He was raised with all power!
I bet you can list some instances in which God manufactured a plot twist in your life. Some of you are married because of a plot twist! Some of you have the jobs you have because of a plot twist! Some of you are ministering the gospel because of a plot twist!
It may have looked bleak before the story took a turn, but God worked out the plot twist so well that it overshadowed what happened before. He will do the same for your story!
Yeah, God is the master of plot twists! So, whatever situation you may face in your life and marriage today know that God has a plot twist in store for you.
- If you and your spouse are not on the same page, expect a PLOT TWIST!
- If your finances are not in the best shape...expect a PLOT TWIST!
- If your friendships or relationships are in shambles...expect a PLOT TWIST!
Seek God today! Serve Him and expect Him to introduce a plot twist to your story!
Monday, December 4, 2017
Monday's Marriage Moment -- The Trees Are Showing Us How Beautiful Change Can Be!
I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.
John 15:1-2
Just because something has always been this way doesn't mean it always has to be this way. I know we have regimens, traditions, and habits, but change is good. Just look at the trees. Each year, they show us how beautiful it is to change seasons. Each year, they realize there are times they must let things go in order to grow stronger and flourish.
I walked into work this morning through a field of leaves. They were brown and brittle, and they covered the ground. I began to wonder why leaves must fall. Why can't trees just stay green all year long? I literally came into my office and began to research. I found out something quite interesting. Leaves don't fall off. The trees push them off. Yep, I thought the wind caused them to simply fall. That's why we have named the season "fall", right?
When the days get shorter, and the temperature drops trees cut their own leaves off -- literally. They produce cells called "abscission" cells. The root for abscission literally means to cut off. These cells create a boundary that cause the trees to slowly push the leaves away from the stem. You see this happening when the leaves change color. It's beautiful to see, but what we are watching is the process of cutting. The tree begins to prune itself. Why? Because if it kept the leaves, it would die. The leaves hold water, and that water would freeze during the winter. This would cause not just the leaves to die, but the entire tree.
So, Dear Wife/Dear Husband, it is time for you to prune your own life. Don't wait for the winds of adversity to force things off of you. Decide now that you have it in you to cut things back. You have it in you to trim away. Are you misusing your time? Prune it! Are you carelessly using your words? Prune them? Are your friendships crossing barriers? Cut them back! It is in your power to take your relationship to the next level, but there may be areas that you have to cut off.
In the spring we see the benefits of this process - beautiful foliage, breathtaking blossoms, and fragrant bouquets, but there must be a cutting away first. My prayer is that you will develop spiritual "abscission cells" and the strength needed to push off anything God shows you needs to go!
John 15:1-2
Just because something has always been this way doesn't mean it always has to be this way. I know we have regimens, traditions, and habits, but change is good. Just look at the trees. Each year, they show us how beautiful it is to change seasons. Each year, they realize there are times they must let things go in order to grow stronger and flourish.
I walked into work this morning through a field of leaves. They were brown and brittle, and they covered the ground. I began to wonder why leaves must fall. Why can't trees just stay green all year long? I literally came into my office and began to research. I found out something quite interesting. Leaves don't fall off. The trees push them off. Yep, I thought the wind caused them to simply fall. That's why we have named the season "fall", right?
When the days get shorter, and the temperature drops trees cut their own leaves off -- literally. They produce cells called "abscission" cells. The root for abscission literally means to cut off. These cells create a boundary that cause the trees to slowly push the leaves away from the stem. You see this happening when the leaves change color. It's beautiful to see, but what we are watching is the process of cutting. The tree begins to prune itself. Why? Because if it kept the leaves, it would die. The leaves hold water, and that water would freeze during the winter. This would cause not just the leaves to die, but the entire tree.
So, Dear Wife/Dear Husband, it is time for you to prune your own life. Don't wait for the winds of adversity to force things off of you. Decide now that you have it in you to cut things back. You have it in you to trim away. Are you misusing your time? Prune it! Are you carelessly using your words? Prune them? Are your friendships crossing barriers? Cut them back! It is in your power to take your relationship to the next level, but there may be areas that you have to cut off.
In the spring we see the benefits of this process - beautiful foliage, breathtaking blossoms, and fragrant bouquets, but there must be a cutting away first. My prayer is that you will develop spiritual "abscission cells" and the strength needed to push off anything God shows you needs to go!
Monday, November 27, 2017
Monday's Marriage Moment -- Leave It Right Here!
I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.
Philippians 3:12-14 (MSG)
My 2017 has been a whirlwind of emotion. It's been amazing, eye-opening, breathtaking, and painful. I wish I could say that it has been all good, but the truth is that it hasn't. There have been some hard things, some hurtful things that I have experienced along the way. I have had my feelings hurt. I have been rejected. I have been lied on. I have lived life with some of the same things that you have, but I am determined that I'm leaving the hurt in 2017.
God has been healing my heart for several months in an area, but over the weekend He instructed me to leave the hurt behind. I want to pass that truth to you. Yes, I know this is a marriage ministry, but I am convinced that if you as an individual don't heal your marriage will struggle to heal. You will project your hurt, your frustrations, and your pain onto your spouse. Or maybe it was your spouse that hurt or offended you. If you have decided to move on together, you must leave the offense right here. You can't take it with you! It's too heavy. It costs too much. It will prevent you from flying high. Don't take it one day further.
How? I'm glad you asked!
You have to make a decision. You have to choose. Do you want to continue cycling through your emotions or do you want to be free. Every great deliverance starts with a choice. Just like Joshua told the children of Israel in Joshua 24:15 you have to make a choice TODAY. Will you serve God wholeheartedly or will you continue to bow to the idols of your feelings and emotions? If you choose God and His way, you will cross over into His promises. If you choose your way, you will remain where you are.
God is calling you out of hurt and pain this year, into a place of joy and freedom. Will you respond? Will you decide that your feelings will not rule? If you are going to be all that God has called you to be, if you are going to do all that He has called you to do, you can not take these feelings into your next place, your new year. It will not be easy. Like Paul said, you are going to have to reach out and keep your eye on the goal (or as the NKJV says, PRESS). I assure you, however, that it will be worth it. I want you to be off and running toward your destiny! That means you can't take this with you!!!
Philippians 3:12-14 (MSG)
My 2017 has been a whirlwind of emotion. It's been amazing, eye-opening, breathtaking, and painful. I wish I could say that it has been all good, but the truth is that it hasn't. There have been some hard things, some hurtful things that I have experienced along the way. I have had my feelings hurt. I have been rejected. I have been lied on. I have lived life with some of the same things that you have, but I am determined that I'm leaving the hurt in 2017.
God has been healing my heart for several months in an area, but over the weekend He instructed me to leave the hurt behind. I want to pass that truth to you. Yes, I know this is a marriage ministry, but I am convinced that if you as an individual don't heal your marriage will struggle to heal. You will project your hurt, your frustrations, and your pain onto your spouse. Or maybe it was your spouse that hurt or offended you. If you have decided to move on together, you must leave the offense right here. You can't take it with you! It's too heavy. It costs too much. It will prevent you from flying high. Don't take it one day further.
How? I'm glad you asked!
You have to make a decision. You have to choose. Do you want to continue cycling through your emotions or do you want to be free. Every great deliverance starts with a choice. Just like Joshua told the children of Israel in Joshua 24:15 you have to make a choice TODAY. Will you serve God wholeheartedly or will you continue to bow to the idols of your feelings and emotions? If you choose God and His way, you will cross over into His promises. If you choose your way, you will remain where you are.
God is calling you out of hurt and pain this year, into a place of joy and freedom. Will you respond? Will you decide that your feelings will not rule? If you are going to be all that God has called you to be, if you are going to do all that He has called you to do, you can not take these feelings into your next place, your new year. It will not be easy. Like Paul said, you are going to have to reach out and keep your eye on the goal (or as the NKJV says, PRESS). I assure you, however, that it will be worth it. I want you to be off and running toward your destiny! That means you can't take this with you!!!
Monday, November 20, 2017
Monday's Marriage Moment -- What Do You Have Left?
A certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the Lord. And the creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves.” So Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me, what do you have in the house?” And she said, “Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.”
-2 Kings 4:1 -2
I know that many of us are already thinking about 2018, and that is not a bad thing. It is important to plan ahead. There are great things that we want to accomplish, and there are great things in store. However, I don't want you to get so busy thinking about next year that you forget there is still time left in 2017. There are 41 days left to work on the vision God gave you for this year. There are 41 days left to create a new habit or break an old one. There are 41 days left to give finish strong.
Many times we don't think what we have left is significant. Maybe we are in a rough place in our marriage. Perhaps, you feel as if you have given your energy and strength, and you just have a little bit left. Maybe you or your spouse is facing a health challenge. It may feel that you have given all you have to press through this time or maintain a sense of normalcy where there has been chaos.
It's been tough, and you feel like giving up.
I imagine that is how the widow woman in our text felt. She has lost her husband, and she can't afford to take care of her sons. They are in danger of being taken away, and she feels like all hope is lost. She encounters Elisha, and he asks her an odd question: What do you have in the house? It's interesting because he switches the conversation from what she is missing to what she has. She almost discounts it herself. Note her response: nothing but a jar of oil. She doesn't see the possibilities and potential in the little that she has, but Elisha does. Her little bit is all that she needs to be blessed. Her little bit is all the she needs to start an "oil business". Her little bit is all that she needs to take care of her family.
Maybe you have lost a lot this year. Maybe it seems that you are under pressure. My question to you is the same one that Elisha asked the widow woman: What do you have in your house? What's in your spiritual house? Do you have a little faith? Do you have a little courage? Is there a little love in there? If so, that's all you need to take your marriage to the next level. Just a little bit of discipline is all you need to be the spouse God called you to be. Just a little bit of strength is all you need to get through this challenging time. Just a few more days, 41 to be exact, is all you need to finish this year strong.
I believe that you have more left than you think you do. Assess what you have left. Then use it for the glory of God!
-2 Kings 4:1 -2
I know that many of us are already thinking about 2018, and that is not a bad thing. It is important to plan ahead. There are great things that we want to accomplish, and there are great things in store. However, I don't want you to get so busy thinking about next year that you forget there is still time left in 2017. There are 41 days left to work on the vision God gave you for this year. There are 41 days left to create a new habit or break an old one. There are 41 days left to give finish strong.
Many times we don't think what we have left is significant. Maybe we are in a rough place in our marriage. Perhaps, you feel as if you have given your energy and strength, and you just have a little bit left. Maybe you or your spouse is facing a health challenge. It may feel that you have given all you have to press through this time or maintain a sense of normalcy where there has been chaos.
It's been tough, and you feel like giving up.
I imagine that is how the widow woman in our text felt. She has lost her husband, and she can't afford to take care of her sons. They are in danger of being taken away, and she feels like all hope is lost. She encounters Elisha, and he asks her an odd question: What do you have in the house? It's interesting because he switches the conversation from what she is missing to what she has. She almost discounts it herself. Note her response: nothing but a jar of oil. She doesn't see the possibilities and potential in the little that she has, but Elisha does. Her little bit is all that she needs to be blessed. Her little bit is all the she needs to start an "oil business". Her little bit is all that she needs to take care of her family.
Maybe you have lost a lot this year. Maybe it seems that you are under pressure. My question to you is the same one that Elisha asked the widow woman: What do you have in your house? What's in your spiritual house? Do you have a little faith? Do you have a little courage? Is there a little love in there? If so, that's all you need to take your marriage to the next level. Just a little bit of discipline is all you need to be the spouse God called you to be. Just a little bit of strength is all you need to get through this challenging time. Just a few more days, 41 to be exact, is all you need to finish this year strong.
I believe that you have more left than you think you do. Assess what you have left. Then use it for the glory of God!
Monday, November 13, 2017
Monday's Marriage Moment -- Can You Stay Right Even When The Situation is Wrong?
Then the men of David said to him, “This is the day of which the Lord said to you, ‘Behold, I will deliver your enemy into your hand, that you may do to him as it seems good to you.’” And David arose and secretly cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. Now it happened afterward that David’s heart troubled him because he had cut Saul’s robe. And he said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the Lord.” So David restrained his servants with these words, and did not allow them to rise against Saul. And Saul got up from the cave and went on his way.
1 Samuel 24:4-7
Sometimes your spouse is wrong. It might look like I miss that fact when I minister to wives, but trust me I know it to be true. Sometimes they are just dead wrong. Sometimes they say something they should not say or do something they should not do, and it is wrong. It hurts you, or it offends you. Your first response could be to lash out or do something wrong as well. After all, we have been conditioned to retaliate. We hurt so we want other to hurt, but can I challenge you today to do something different? Can you stay right even when the situation is wrong?
Like you, I have been on the receiving end of hurt, offense, and betrayal. I am not telling you what I have heard. I know firsthand the ups and downs in marriage. I know the joys of marriage when things are great, and I know the challenges of marriage when they aren't. There have been times that John has said or done something that is wrong or offensive to me. It is at that point that I have a choice. I can respond based on my human nature or the nature of Christ. Many times I have made the wrong choice, but I have learned over time that my response effects me more than it does him.
David had a similar choice to make in 1 Samuel 24. Saul had hurt, offended, and betrayed him too. Saul took it to a totally different level -- he actually tried to kill David. It would be pretty bad if I said he tried to kill David once, but Saul tried to kill David multiple times. What makes it even worse is David was trying to help and comfort Saul all the while. David has had to flee his home, hide in caves, and behave like a crazy man just to survive another day. Finally, David is presented with the chance to get Saul back. He finds Saul lying in a cave asleep, and this is the perfect opportunity to kill Saul. The men who were with him encouraged him to kill him. They even said that God had set this exact opportunity up for him. I'm sure every fiber of David's being wanted Saul dead. No doubt he wanted the madness to end, but do you know what David did? He cut off a corner of Saul's robe and walked away. Yes, you read it correctly...he walked away. See, David realized that he was not accountable to Saul. He was accountable to God. He also realized that God is an amazing vindicator. He will fight our battles for us...if we let Him! Do you realize that? Will you let God fight for you?
Saul was wrong in how he treated David, but David left Saul's judgment up to God. He didn't take matters into his own hands. He didn't render evil for evil. He didn't try to get even. He remained in right position with God. Let me encourage you today. God will take care of you. If you release bitterness, anger, resentment, and wanting to see people pay God will fix the situation. David not only walked away, but he covered Saul. I know that is a foreign concept in this day and age of exposure and everything posted or videoed, but we still need to cover our spouses. That doesn't mean we excuse their wrongs, it means that we don't rise up against them nor do we allow others to do so. Note in the verses above, David restrained his men from rising against Saul. Maybe you aren't tempted to physically kill your spouse (I sure hope not), but your words could be doing a good job of assassinating their character or killing their spirit. Restrain yourself and others.
You will be presented with opportunities to practice this. Determine now that you will stay right in a wrong situation!
1 Samuel 24:4-7
Sometimes your spouse is wrong. It might look like I miss that fact when I minister to wives, but trust me I know it to be true. Sometimes they are just dead wrong. Sometimes they say something they should not say or do something they should not do, and it is wrong. It hurts you, or it offends you. Your first response could be to lash out or do something wrong as well. After all, we have been conditioned to retaliate. We hurt so we want other to hurt, but can I challenge you today to do something different? Can you stay right even when the situation is wrong?
Like you, I have been on the receiving end of hurt, offense, and betrayal. I am not telling you what I have heard. I know firsthand the ups and downs in marriage. I know the joys of marriage when things are great, and I know the challenges of marriage when they aren't. There have been times that John has said or done something that is wrong or offensive to me. It is at that point that I have a choice. I can respond based on my human nature or the nature of Christ. Many times I have made the wrong choice, but I have learned over time that my response effects me more than it does him.
David had a similar choice to make in 1 Samuel 24. Saul had hurt, offended, and betrayed him too. Saul took it to a totally different level -- he actually tried to kill David. It would be pretty bad if I said he tried to kill David once, but Saul tried to kill David multiple times. What makes it even worse is David was trying to help and comfort Saul all the while. David has had to flee his home, hide in caves, and behave like a crazy man just to survive another day. Finally, David is presented with the chance to get Saul back. He finds Saul lying in a cave asleep, and this is the perfect opportunity to kill Saul. The men who were with him encouraged him to kill him. They even said that God had set this exact opportunity up for him. I'm sure every fiber of David's being wanted Saul dead. No doubt he wanted the madness to end, but do you know what David did? He cut off a corner of Saul's robe and walked away. Yes, you read it correctly...he walked away. See, David realized that he was not accountable to Saul. He was accountable to God. He also realized that God is an amazing vindicator. He will fight our battles for us...if we let Him! Do you realize that? Will you let God fight for you?
Saul was wrong in how he treated David, but David left Saul's judgment up to God. He didn't take matters into his own hands. He didn't render evil for evil. He didn't try to get even. He remained in right position with God. Let me encourage you today. God will take care of you. If you release bitterness, anger, resentment, and wanting to see people pay God will fix the situation. David not only walked away, but he covered Saul. I know that is a foreign concept in this day and age of exposure and everything posted or videoed, but we still need to cover our spouses. That doesn't mean we excuse their wrongs, it means that we don't rise up against them nor do we allow others to do so. Note in the verses above, David restrained his men from rising against Saul. Maybe you aren't tempted to physically kill your spouse (I sure hope not), but your words could be doing a good job of assassinating their character or killing their spirit. Restrain yourself and others.
You will be presented with opportunities to practice this. Determine now that you will stay right in a wrong situation!
Monday, November 6, 2017
Mondays Marriage Moment -- Yes, You Do Need Them!
As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
Proverbs 27:17
I know. Our culture says things like: I can do bad by myself. I don't need anybody but Jesus. I am good alone. I have heard all of these phrases before. I've even said a few of them myself. I am great at forgiving, but I am also great at cutting people off. When I am done -- I am done. I can love you, forgive you, and be a blessing to you and still opt out of relationship with you. That sounds good to my flesh (maybe yours too). Yet, as I mature I realize that God designed us to live in community. He designed us to need other people. Yes, Dear Friend...need.
As always, this starts at home. You need your spouse. God has given you an amazing person to love, but that person also is there to sharpen you and you are to sharpen them. Yes, God uses the person that you stood before family and friends and promised your love to as a tool to sand off your rough edges. You don't believe me? Have they ever told you something that really annoyed you but later you had to admit they were right? Have they ever casually mentioned a flaw in your character that offended you until you realized there was some truth to it?
I have. John Cheek has told me some hard truths over these last 18 years. Honestly, I didn't always respond well (my response revealed so much about me than it did him, but that is another blog post). Sometimes I lashed out in anger. Sometimes I shut down. As I grow, I am learning to receive the truth even when I don't like it and make necessary changes. You know why? Because he is sharpening me. He is making me a better wife, mother, friend...a better person. God is using John to perfect me. He is using John to prepare me to minister to other women. He is using John in amazing ways.
So, I have determined that I am going to respond well. I am thankful for John, and I am glad that he loves me enough to tell me the truth. I am glad that he can tell me some hard truths so that I can do better. I encourage you to appreciate the spouse that God has given you. Listen for the truths that they are trying to share with you and make necessary changes.
Proverbs 27:17
I know. Our culture says things like: I can do bad by myself. I don't need anybody but Jesus. I am good alone. I have heard all of these phrases before. I've even said a few of them myself. I am great at forgiving, but I am also great at cutting people off. When I am done -- I am done. I can love you, forgive you, and be a blessing to you and still opt out of relationship with you. That sounds good to my flesh (maybe yours too). Yet, as I mature I realize that God designed us to live in community. He designed us to need other people. Yes, Dear Friend...need.
As always, this starts at home. You need your spouse. God has given you an amazing person to love, but that person also is there to sharpen you and you are to sharpen them. Yes, God uses the person that you stood before family and friends and promised your love to as a tool to sand off your rough edges. You don't believe me? Have they ever told you something that really annoyed you but later you had to admit they were right? Have they ever casually mentioned a flaw in your character that offended you until you realized there was some truth to it?
I have. John Cheek has told me some hard truths over these last 18 years. Honestly, I didn't always respond well (my response revealed so much about me than it did him, but that is another blog post). Sometimes I lashed out in anger. Sometimes I shut down. As I grow, I am learning to receive the truth even when I don't like it and make necessary changes. You know why? Because he is sharpening me. He is making me a better wife, mother, friend...a better person. God is using John to perfect me. He is using John to prepare me to minister to other women. He is using John in amazing ways.
So, I have determined that I am going to respond well. I am thankful for John, and I am glad that he loves me enough to tell me the truth. I am glad that he can tell me some hard truths so that I can do better. I encourage you to appreciate the spouse that God has given you. Listen for the truths that they are trying to share with you and make necessary changes.
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