Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
-Proverbs 19:11
No one can offend you like your spouse can. After all, they are the one that is closest to you.They see you at your best and at your worst. So, even though they are the person you love the most, they are also the one that is capable of causing the most harm. I know that they don't often mean to offend. Sometimes they are just telling the truth or maybe they make a callous statement that hits too close to home. Either way, an offense can be caused.
Your role is not to let the offense take root in your heart. See, offense can fester and grow. It can cause things to be blown out of proportion. Offense can blind you. It can cause you to only see what happened to hurt you and not all the good things that the other person did. Offense causes you to see what the person did to you, but it blinds you to what you may have done to the other person. Offense causes you to only see things through a lens of hurt and pain rather than objectively and clearly. Matthew 7:3-5 tells us to focus on our own shortcomings and then we can see clearly to help others. Make sure that you can see clearly.
Great people have ended good marriages over a bad moment. They focused more on the offense than the good times, God's great plan, and their future. So, we must deal with offense quickly. It comes to destroy. It separates. It poisons. It kills.
Overlook the offense if you can. Refuse to be offended. It is challenging, but you can do it. If your spouse has offended you I encourage you to clear the air. Spend some time with God to heal your heart. Be honest about your feelings with Him, and ask Him to keep you from bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness. Talk to your spouse about it, and do what you need to do to have a clear conscience. Act quickly. Reconcile. Move forward in power and unity.
Monday, June 25, 2018
Monday, June 18, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - I Almost Messed Up!
The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.
Exodus 14:14
Sisters! I almost messed up! Whew! I mean...I really almost messed up. I was hurt. I was offended. I was angry, and I almost responded in that anger. I almost gave someone "a piece of my mind". I almost forgot who I was.
Yeah, I almost messed up! Almost - very nearly, all but, just short of - but I didn't. I am so glad that I can use the word "almost" today because there have been times in the past when I couldn't. There were times when I went all the way and rendered eveil for evil; that I met people right where they were. I wouldn't cuss or disrespect them, but I would come down to their level and give them what I felt was a necessary response.
Today, however, I realize that it is not necessary to respond. It is not necessary to make a list of points to prove how right I am. It is not necessary to defend. What is necessary is peace, and I will lose a lot more of that if I respond.
So, I am taking comfort in silence today. I would be lying if I told you that I don't want to respond because I really do...but I won't. I love God more than I love getting my way. I love His approval of me more than I do getting it off my chest. I love peace with Him more than giving someone a piece of my mind.
I remember who I am. I belong to God, and He has promised to vindicate me. I choose to let Him fight my battles. I encourage you today to do the same. No more arguing. No more making your case or trying to convince people that you are justified. No more meeting them where they are. No more.
God has you covered. He has promised to perfect all that concerns you. He will vindicate you. Remember who you are. Remember whose you are. Take your seat of authority and refuse to move. It's ok if you almost messed up...just don't go all the way!
Monday, June 11, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - He's Calling You Back
“Now, therefore,” says the Lord,
“Turn to Me with all your heart,
With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.”
So rend your heart, and not your garments;
Return to the Lord your God,
For He is gracious and merciful,
Slow to anger, and of great kindness;
And He relents from doing harm.
-Joel 2:12-13
I saw a meme yesterday that said, "if I say I'm calling you back just go ahead and enjoy the rest of your day". It made me laugh because sometimes I am guilty of that. I have good intentions to call you back, but I can get busy with other things and forget. Unlike me, God does not forget, and I believe that He is calling you back even now. Obviously, He is not making a phone call to you, but I believe that He is calling you back to a place in Him that you may have wandered from. He is calling you back to your position of prayer and peace. He is calling you back to spend time with Him away from all the noise and distractions.
As a wife, I know the pressures and responsibilities that we face. I know how easy it is to become focused on so many things that you aren't really focused on anything. I know what it is to get busy doing things and forget why you are doing them. So, I am sharing with you the message that God shared with me: I'm calling you back - back to His presence, back to His way of doing things, back to caring more about what He thinks and less about what others think. He is calling you back to His plan for your life and marriage.
Listen, God - the Creator of the universe - wants you. He sent Jesus to the cross in order to redeem you back to Himself. Yes, He wants your marriage to be successful. Yes, He wants your ministry to be successful. He wants your career, business, and life to be successful, but more than any of that He simply wants you. And if you really want to be successful, you should want Him more than anything else.
So, He is calling you back. Will you answer?
“Turn to Me with all your heart,
With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.”
So rend your heart, and not your garments;
Return to the Lord your God,
For He is gracious and merciful,
Slow to anger, and of great kindness;
And He relents from doing harm.
-Joel 2:12-13
I saw a meme yesterday that said, "if I say I'm calling you back just go ahead and enjoy the rest of your day". It made me laugh because sometimes I am guilty of that. I have good intentions to call you back, but I can get busy with other things and forget. Unlike me, God does not forget, and I believe that He is calling you back even now. Obviously, He is not making a phone call to you, but I believe that He is calling you back to a place in Him that you may have wandered from. He is calling you back to your position of prayer and peace. He is calling you back to spend time with Him away from all the noise and distractions.
As a wife, I know the pressures and responsibilities that we face. I know how easy it is to become focused on so many things that you aren't really focused on anything. I know what it is to get busy doing things and forget why you are doing them. So, I am sharing with you the message that God shared with me: I'm calling you back - back to His presence, back to His way of doing things, back to caring more about what He thinks and less about what others think. He is calling you back to His plan for your life and marriage.
Listen, God - the Creator of the universe - wants you. He sent Jesus to the cross in order to redeem you back to Himself. Yes, He wants your marriage to be successful. Yes, He wants your ministry to be successful. He wants your career, business, and life to be successful, but more than any of that He simply wants you. And if you really want to be successful, you should want Him more than anything else.
So, He is calling you back. Will you answer?
Monday, June 4, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment - So Many Responsibilities!
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.
-1 Corinthians 10:13 (MSG)
I love being a wife, but it is not all that I am. I am a mother. I am a daughter and a sister. I am a minister and an author. I am a friend. I am an educator and a mentor. I am all of that and then some. I don't say that to boast. Chances are you have similar roles in your life, and you could probably add a few that I left out. I am pointing this out today because if I am not careful I can get out of balance.
I had a startling reality with one of my children this weekend that reminded me of my need to order all of my responsibilities. As much as I love teaching, ministering, and writing, I fully believe that my family comes first. However, sometimes my actions don't reflect this belief. That was hard to type!
It's not that I intentionally put other things first. It's actually very subtle, but if I am not focused other things can creep there way to to the top of my list. I can get caught up in ministering to wives, writing, or teaching and neglect the very people I hold so dear. I am guessing that perhaps you can too. Sometimes I think that they can handle things themselves or they will be fine, and I take care of things that I think need my attention, but the truth is that my family needs my attention. Maybe you get caught up serving in ministry or helping your friends. Maybe, for you, it's working on your business, launching a ministy, or working at your place of employment. Whatever it might be, I encourage you to take a harsh look at what is really important.
I never want to get so caught up in the public ministry that God has assigned me that I don't steward well the ministry He has given me at home. It's a delicate balance. Actually, it's a very clear order:
-1 Corinthians 10:13 (MSG)
I love being a wife, but it is not all that I am. I am a mother. I am a daughter and a sister. I am a minister and an author. I am a friend. I am an educator and a mentor. I am all of that and then some. I don't say that to boast. Chances are you have similar roles in your life, and you could probably add a few that I left out. I am pointing this out today because if I am not careful I can get out of balance.
I had a startling reality with one of my children this weekend that reminded me of my need to order all of my responsibilities. As much as I love teaching, ministering, and writing, I fully believe that my family comes first. However, sometimes my actions don't reflect this belief. That was hard to type!
It's not that I intentionally put other things first. It's actually very subtle, but if I am not focused other things can creep there way to to the top of my list. I can get caught up in ministering to wives, writing, or teaching and neglect the very people I hold so dear. I am guessing that perhaps you can too. Sometimes I think that they can handle things themselves or they will be fine, and I take care of things that I think need my attention, but the truth is that my family needs my attention. Maybe you get caught up serving in ministry or helping your friends. Maybe, for you, it's working on your business, launching a ministy, or working at your place of employment. Whatever it might be, I encourage you to take a harsh look at what is really important.
I never want to get so caught up in the public ministry that God has assigned me that I don't steward well the ministry He has given me at home. It's a delicate balance. Actually, it's a very clear order:
- God - Let's be clear. God is first. Not church. Not ministry. Not the things that go along with serving God, but God Himself is first. If we don't settle this we will overextend ourselves doing godly things without God's approval.
- Family - Our first ministry is our family. After God created Adam He created a wife and family for him. This should show us the significance of family in God's eyes.
- Everything else - Yep...everything else comes after God and family.
As I was presenting my requests to God, asking Him how to keep my life in right order with so many responsibilities, He gave me a very clear answer: trust Me. He reminded me that I was never designed to do it alone. Yes, I have an amazing husband that helps me more than I deserve, but I have almighty God walking this journey right beside me. Many times I don't rely on His strength until I have tried it all on my own, but I am declaring an end to that today. I'm asking Him for strategies and steps to handle all that He has put into my care, and I believe that He is going to show me exactly what to do. He already gave me the first step - trust Him. I encourage you to do the same.
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