Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
-Proverbs 5:18-19
I don't have a deep and soul-stirring message for you today, but I do have a practical one. Go on a date with your spouse! I am sure that your life is full just like mine: full-time work, parental responsibilities, familial obligations, bible study, appointments, errands, and more! It is easy to become so engrossed in these things that we forget that we married the person that we liked. Notice that I didn't say loved. Of course, we love our spouses (at least, I hope we do), but have we forgotten that we like them. Do you remember how you felt when you were dating? Do you remember the butterflies when you saw their number appear on your phone? Do you remember how you felt when you saw them from across the room? Do you remember the excitement of going out on a date with them?
I think one of the greatest weapons the enemy has unleashed against us in busyness. We are too busy for relationships because we are doing so many other things. We have stopped holding hands with our spouse. We have stopped giving hello and goodbye kisses.We have stopped flirting with each other - you know winking at each other, blowing kisses, and playfully smacking each other on the butt (yes, the Elder said that - we are married, ok?). The love hasn't gone, but the "like" has run away!
The enemy has deceived us into thinking that spirituality begins and ends at church. We have somehow forgotten that God is concerned about our marriages. He must be because there are so many verses in the bible about our interactions with our spouses. We pray, prophecy, speak in tongues, and cast out devils (all good things), yet we forget to put energy into showing love to our spouses. We have made church/church activities "the other woman" or "the other man" that our spouses have to compete with for our attention. I don't think God is pleased with that.
I challenge you this week to go on a date with your spouse. Yes, you may have a full week, but cross something off your list if necessary to sit across from your spouse and look into their eyes. Take some time to hold their hands. Take some time to cuddle and talk about your future. Reserve a room and get away if possible, but please do something! I guarantee that it will increase your oneness and intimacy with your spouse, and after all, we need the power of agreement in our homes. Schedule a date night!!!
Monday, January 29, 2018
Monday, January 22, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment -- Don't Take the Long Route!
There are eleven days' journey from Horeb by the way of mount Seir unto Kadeshbarnea.
-Deuteronomy 1:2
It should have been a short trip. It was only supposed to take 11 days. Instead it took 40 years. Forty years to attain the promise that God had given them; forty years of circles and cycles. It is tempting to review the account of the children of Israel's exodus from Egypt to their entrance into
Canaan and shake our heads. We think "poor them". How could it take them so long? What were they thinking? They could have entered a lot sooner.
Yet, if we look at our own lives we will see that there have been times that we have circled the same mountain a few times as well. I can certainly see circular tracks around the mountain of my marriage. Times where I repeated the same behaviors and expected different results (insanity...I know). There were times that I acted just like the children of Israel. I complained. I questioned why. I had my doubts. Yes, just like the children of Israel, my patterns led to something that could have been remedied quickly taking years of my life. Years! It took years! It has only been in the last few years that I have accessed some of the promises God made about my marriages at the beginning. John and I have been married for almost 19 years. I circled for at least 10 - actually more like 15, but I digress.
This is why I am so passionate about marriage and the ministry God has given me. I don't want other wives, other marriages, to take the long route. I want the trip between God showing you the promise and you receiving the promise to be short, and if my story can help you than I am more than grateful. As passionate as I am, I realize that my wanting you to take a short cut doesn't mean that you will take one. You, dear wife/husband, have to decide that you will take the direct route of obedience to God. That you will break cycles and patterns that are delaying your arrival to your promised land. Aren't you tired of arguing about the same things? Aren't you tired of fighting the same battles?Aren't you tired of circling the same mountain?
I declare to you that this is the year that we break cycles and stop going in circles! This is the year that we fully align with God and destroy bondages and chains that have bound us. This is the year that we attain a new level in our marriage and our life. Our unions have purpose, and we must agree with God to break those cycles that threaten that purpose. How do we break the cycles? I am glad you asked!
-Deuteronomy 1:2
It should have been a short trip. It was only supposed to take 11 days. Instead it took 40 years. Forty years to attain the promise that God had given them; forty years of circles and cycles. It is tempting to review the account of the children of Israel's exodus from Egypt to their entrance into
Canaan and shake our heads. We think "poor them". How could it take them so long? What were they thinking? They could have entered a lot sooner.
Yet, if we look at our own lives we will see that there have been times that we have circled the same mountain a few times as well. I can certainly see circular tracks around the mountain of my marriage. Times where I repeated the same behaviors and expected different results (insanity...I know). There were times that I acted just like the children of Israel. I complained. I questioned why. I had my doubts. Yes, just like the children of Israel, my patterns led to something that could have been remedied quickly taking years of my life. Years! It took years! It has only been in the last few years that I have accessed some of the promises God made about my marriages at the beginning. John and I have been married for almost 19 years. I circled for at least 10 - actually more like 15, but I digress.
This is why I am so passionate about marriage and the ministry God has given me. I don't want other wives, other marriages, to take the long route. I want the trip between God showing you the promise and you receiving the promise to be short, and if my story can help you than I am more than grateful. As passionate as I am, I realize that my wanting you to take a short cut doesn't mean that you will take one. You, dear wife/husband, have to decide that you will take the direct route of obedience to God. That you will break cycles and patterns that are delaying your arrival to your promised land. Aren't you tired of arguing about the same things? Aren't you tired of fighting the same battles?Aren't you tired of circling the same mountain?
I declare to you that this is the year that we break cycles and stop going in circles! This is the year that we fully align with God and destroy bondages and chains that have bound us. This is the year that we attain a new level in our marriage and our life. Our unions have purpose, and we must agree with God to break those cycles that threaten that purpose. How do we break the cycles? I am glad you asked!
- We partner with God to be the spouse (and the person) that God called us to be.
- We pray and cover our spouse and marriage.
- We walk in love - overlooking minor things and choosing to focus on the major things.
- We prioritize our spouse and our marriage.
- We use our words to bless them and not curse them.
- We walk in forgiveness quickly.
God is adept at breaking cycles! He doesn't want us to circle the same mountain repeatedly. He has given us the ability to conquer and triumph, and I declare that this is the year that we will do just that! Take the short cut, saints! Don't let your pride make you take the long route. Don't let waiting on your spouse to do what is right make you take the long route! Don't let guilt, condemnation, shame, fear, or unbelief make you take the long route! Don't let it take you years to accomplish what could have been done in weeks! He wants you to get there quickly, but it is up to you!
Monday, January 15, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment -- We Are Not on the Same Page!
Then Elkanah her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? Am I not better to you than ten sons?”
-1 Samuel 1:8
If you have followed my blog or Believing Wives Facebook page, you know that this is our year of agreement! I've devoted this whole month to focusing on how we can get into agreement with God and with our spouse. Agreement is my focus, and I believe it is God's best for us wholeheartedly, but I would be lying if I did not admit that there are times when we will not be on the same page with our spouse. There will be times when you are thinking one thing and they are thinking another. There will be times when your perspectives are different. There will be times when you totally misunderstand each other.
A great example is found in 1Samuel chapter 1. Here we find Hannah and her husband Elkanah. I could discuss the fact that there is another wife in the picture, Peninnah, who complicates the situation, but that is not the focus of our discussion today. Hannah desires a baby, specifically a son. At this point, she is unable to conceive. She is barren and broken, and her husband doesn't understand her pain. Her asks her in verse 8, "am I not better to you than ten sons?" He thinks that he should be enough fore her. He doesn't understand the pain she is feeling or the emptiness in her heart. He doesn't understand what it is like to be tormented by Peninnah, who is able to have her husband's children. He just doesn't get it. They are not on the same page.
Hannah could do a lot of things, but I think it is important to note what she doesn't do. She doesn't spend time fussing with Elkanah about the fact that he doesn't get it. She doesn't continue to try to make him understand (which is something I have been guilty of more than I care to admit). She doesn't lock herself in her room and refuse to talk to him. She doesn't call him names or insult his manhood.
She takes her concerns to God. She seems to get that Elkanah doesn't have the answer. I'm sure she wished that he understood, but she also accepted that he didn't. So she took her cares, her concerns, her hurt, and her pain to the One who could do something about it. The bible says that she poured her heart out to God to the point that the priest thought she was drunk (vs. 12 - 14). In the end, God granted her requested. She received the baby she so desperately prayed for.
I pray this week that we take a page out of Hannah's book. Let's learn not to fuss and fight when we are not on the same page with our spouse. Instead, let's take our concerns to God. I truly believe that her response of peace and love played a role in her receiving the promise!
-1 Samuel 1:8
If you have followed my blog or Believing Wives Facebook page, you know that this is our year of agreement! I've devoted this whole month to focusing on how we can get into agreement with God and with our spouse. Agreement is my focus, and I believe it is God's best for us wholeheartedly, but I would be lying if I did not admit that there are times when we will not be on the same page with our spouse. There will be times when you are thinking one thing and they are thinking another. There will be times when your perspectives are different. There will be times when you totally misunderstand each other.
A great example is found in 1Samuel chapter 1. Here we find Hannah and her husband Elkanah. I could discuss the fact that there is another wife in the picture, Peninnah, who complicates the situation, but that is not the focus of our discussion today. Hannah desires a baby, specifically a son. At this point, she is unable to conceive. She is barren and broken, and her husband doesn't understand her pain. Her asks her in verse 8, "am I not better to you than ten sons?" He thinks that he should be enough fore her. He doesn't understand the pain she is feeling or the emptiness in her heart. He doesn't understand what it is like to be tormented by Peninnah, who is able to have her husband's children. He just doesn't get it. They are not on the same page.
Hannah could do a lot of things, but I think it is important to note what she doesn't do. She doesn't spend time fussing with Elkanah about the fact that he doesn't get it. She doesn't continue to try to make him understand (which is something I have been guilty of more than I care to admit). She doesn't lock herself in her room and refuse to talk to him. She doesn't call him names or insult his manhood.
She takes her concerns to God. She seems to get that Elkanah doesn't have the answer. I'm sure she wished that he understood, but she also accepted that he didn't. So she took her cares, her concerns, her hurt, and her pain to the One who could do something about it. The bible says that she poured her heart out to God to the point that the priest thought she was drunk (vs. 12 - 14). In the end, God granted her requested. She received the baby she so desperately prayed for.
I pray this week that we take a page out of Hannah's book. Let's learn not to fuss and fight when we are not on the same page with our spouse. Instead, let's take our concerns to God. I truly believe that her response of peace and love played a role in her receiving the promise!
Monday, January 8, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment -- But WHY?
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
~1 Samuel 16:7
Don't get so caught up in what you are called to do that you forget why you are called to do it. I made that statement as a Facebook post yesterday after a time of reflection with God. So many of us are focused on our gifts and callings, and how to develop them (and that is absolutely important), but I don't know that we focus as much on why we are called to exercise those gifts. Have we forgotten that as we love others, teach others, prophesy to and edify others that we are to point them to Christ -- that we are to ensure they know that it is His power at work in and through us?
As I reflect over the last few years, I have written quite a few posts about "what": what we should do, what we should try to achieve, what God asks of us. I have not written a lot about why, but I think we need to be reminded why we do what we do. So often we focus on doing that we forget what we are doing it for - who we are doing it for. We focus on being a "good Christian" or a "good wife". We want to check the right things off of our lists, but if our hearts are not right our actions really don't mean a whole lot. The world is full of people who look the part but don't measure up. The news is filled with people who looked successful but end up failing due to a lack of morality. This can not be the case with us.
We can't look one way and really be another. I think the difference is made when we really understand why we do what we do. That, my friends, is a matter of the heart. You have to take a moment of self-reflection to determine what is really in there. Do you love your spouse because of what he/she can do for you? Do you want a good marriage so other people will idolize it or so that you can be powerful and effective together? Do you love your spouse like God says because God said it or because you want to portray an image? Do you want a successful ministry so that people will "look at you" or so that people will look at Jesus? What is your why?
The gifts that He has given you are not just for public display. Your spouse and your home should be the recipient of those gifts as well. Actually, they should receive them first -- especially, if you are exercising them from a sincere heart. Remember, people look at the outside - appearance, image, what we portray -- God looks at the heart, and He sees very well.
~1 Samuel 16:7
Don't get so caught up in what you are called to do that you forget why you are called to do it. I made that statement as a Facebook post yesterday after a time of reflection with God. So many of us are focused on our gifts and callings, and how to develop them (and that is absolutely important), but I don't know that we focus as much on why we are called to exercise those gifts. Have we forgotten that as we love others, teach others, prophesy to and edify others that we are to point them to Christ -- that we are to ensure they know that it is His power at work in and through us?
As I reflect over the last few years, I have written quite a few posts about "what": what we should do, what we should try to achieve, what God asks of us. I have not written a lot about why, but I think we need to be reminded why we do what we do. So often we focus on doing that we forget what we are doing it for - who we are doing it for. We focus on being a "good Christian" or a "good wife". We want to check the right things off of our lists, but if our hearts are not right our actions really don't mean a whole lot. The world is full of people who look the part but don't measure up. The news is filled with people who looked successful but end up failing due to a lack of morality. This can not be the case with us.
We can't look one way and really be another. I think the difference is made when we really understand why we do what we do. That, my friends, is a matter of the heart. You have to take a moment of self-reflection to determine what is really in there. Do you love your spouse because of what he/she can do for you? Do you want a good marriage so other people will idolize it or so that you can be powerful and effective together? Do you love your spouse like God says because God said it or because you want to portray an image? Do you want a successful ministry so that people will "look at you" or so that people will look at Jesus? What is your why?
The gifts that He has given you are not just for public display. Your spouse and your home should be the recipient of those gifts as well. Actually, they should receive them first -- especially, if you are exercising them from a sincere heart. Remember, people look at the outside - appearance, image, what we portray -- God looks at the heart, and He sees very well.
Monday, January 1, 2018
Monday's Marriage Moment -- This is Our Year of Agreement!
You will also declare a thing,
And it will be established for you;
So light will shine on your ways.
-Job 22:28
So, I decree that this is our year of agreement! I know that may not sound exciting to you, but it has me in eager anticipation! Agreement means alignment, unity, and harmony -- it's the state when people or groups are on one accord. It seems obvious that our marriages should be harmonious and filled with agreement, but that is not always the case. I believe we lack agreement with our spouses because we are not in total agreement with God. But this is the year that all of that changes.
I decree that this is the year that you will agree with God completely! This is the year that you will agree with what He says about you! This is the year that you will agree with what He says about your marriage. This is the year that you will fully accept your role as wife or as husband, and this is the year that you will live out the biblical expectations of that role! This is the year that you will agree with your spouse in prayer! This is the year that you will agree with your spouse in purpose. As a matter of fact, you will accept your role to push your spouse into purpose. If they have a business or ministry, you will sow your time, energy, and resources into making it prosperous and blessed. Realize that as they are blessed you are blessed and stand in agreement with that! This is the year that you walk as one as God ordained! This is the year that you realize that your covenant has power and purpose!
This is the year that you agree with God's plan for your life! Even though this agreement with God may sometimes cause distance from people, I decree that you will agree with God anyway! May God grant you the strength and tenacity to remain faithful to what He says no matter what! This is the year that your agreement with God is going to take you further faster but because you agree with Him you will be prepared!
I decree that no matter how unreachable the goals seem, scary the step feels, or out of your comfort zone the call looks, this is the year that you agree with God about it and move forward boldly. This is the year!
Will you agree with me?
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