I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.
Philippians 3:12-14 (MSG)
My 2017 has been a whirlwind of emotion. It's been amazing, eye-opening, breathtaking, and painful. I wish I could say that it has been all good, but the truth is that it hasn't. There have been some hard things, some hurtful things that I have experienced along the way. I have had my feelings hurt. I have been rejected. I have been lied on. I have lived life with some of the same things that you have, but I am determined that I'm leaving the hurt in 2017.
God has been healing my heart for several months in an area, but over the weekend He instructed me to leave the hurt behind. I want to pass that truth to you. Yes, I know this is a marriage ministry, but I am convinced that if you as an individual don't heal your marriage will struggle to heal. You will project your hurt, your frustrations, and your pain onto your spouse. Or maybe it was your spouse that hurt or offended you. If you have decided to move on together, you must leave the offense right here. You can't take it with you! It's too heavy. It costs too much. It will prevent you from flying high. Don't take it one day further.
How? I'm glad you asked!
You have to make a decision. You have to choose. Do you want to continue cycling through your emotions or do you want to be free. Every great deliverance starts with a choice. Just like Joshua told the children of Israel in Joshua 24:15 you have to make a choice TODAY. Will you serve God wholeheartedly or will you continue to bow to the idols of your feelings and emotions? If you choose God and His way, you will cross over into His promises. If you choose your way, you will remain where you are.
God is calling you out of hurt and pain this year, into a place of joy and freedom. Will you respond? Will you decide that your feelings will not rule? If you are going to be all that God has called you to be, if you are going to do all that He has called you to do, you can not take these feelings into your next place, your new year. It will not be easy. Like Paul said, you are going to have to reach out and keep your eye on the goal (or as the NKJV says, PRESS). I assure you, however, that it will be worth it. I want you to be off and running toward your destiny! That means you can't take this with you!!!
Monday, November 27, 2017
Monday, November 20, 2017
Monday's Marriage Moment -- What Do You Have Left?
A certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the Lord. And the creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves.” So Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me, what do you have in the house?” And she said, “Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.”
-2 Kings 4:1 -2
I know that many of us are already thinking about 2018, and that is not a bad thing. It is important to plan ahead. There are great things that we want to accomplish, and there are great things in store. However, I don't want you to get so busy thinking about next year that you forget there is still time left in 2017. There are 41 days left to work on the vision God gave you for this year. There are 41 days left to create a new habit or break an old one. There are 41 days left to give finish strong.
Many times we don't think what we have left is significant. Maybe we are in a rough place in our marriage. Perhaps, you feel as if you have given your energy and strength, and you just have a little bit left. Maybe you or your spouse is facing a health challenge. It may feel that you have given all you have to press through this time or maintain a sense of normalcy where there has been chaos.
It's been tough, and you feel like giving up.
I imagine that is how the widow woman in our text felt. She has lost her husband, and she can't afford to take care of her sons. They are in danger of being taken away, and she feels like all hope is lost. She encounters Elisha, and he asks her an odd question: What do you have in the house? It's interesting because he switches the conversation from what she is missing to what she has. She almost discounts it herself. Note her response: nothing but a jar of oil. She doesn't see the possibilities and potential in the little that she has, but Elisha does. Her little bit is all that she needs to be blessed. Her little bit is all the she needs to start an "oil business". Her little bit is all that she needs to take care of her family.
Maybe you have lost a lot this year. Maybe it seems that you are under pressure. My question to you is the same one that Elisha asked the widow woman: What do you have in your house? What's in your spiritual house? Do you have a little faith? Do you have a little courage? Is there a little love in there? If so, that's all you need to take your marriage to the next level. Just a little bit of discipline is all you need to be the spouse God called you to be. Just a little bit of strength is all you need to get through this challenging time. Just a few more days, 41 to be exact, is all you need to finish this year strong.
I believe that you have more left than you think you do. Assess what you have left. Then use it for the glory of God!
-2 Kings 4:1 -2
I know that many of us are already thinking about 2018, and that is not a bad thing. It is important to plan ahead. There are great things that we want to accomplish, and there are great things in store. However, I don't want you to get so busy thinking about next year that you forget there is still time left in 2017. There are 41 days left to work on the vision God gave you for this year. There are 41 days left to create a new habit or break an old one. There are 41 days left to give finish strong.
Many times we don't think what we have left is significant. Maybe we are in a rough place in our marriage. Perhaps, you feel as if you have given your energy and strength, and you just have a little bit left. Maybe you or your spouse is facing a health challenge. It may feel that you have given all you have to press through this time or maintain a sense of normalcy where there has been chaos.
It's been tough, and you feel like giving up.
I imagine that is how the widow woman in our text felt. She has lost her husband, and she can't afford to take care of her sons. They are in danger of being taken away, and she feels like all hope is lost. She encounters Elisha, and he asks her an odd question: What do you have in the house? It's interesting because he switches the conversation from what she is missing to what she has. She almost discounts it herself. Note her response: nothing but a jar of oil. She doesn't see the possibilities and potential in the little that she has, but Elisha does. Her little bit is all that she needs to be blessed. Her little bit is all the she needs to start an "oil business". Her little bit is all that she needs to take care of her family.
Maybe you have lost a lot this year. Maybe it seems that you are under pressure. My question to you is the same one that Elisha asked the widow woman: What do you have in your house? What's in your spiritual house? Do you have a little faith? Do you have a little courage? Is there a little love in there? If so, that's all you need to take your marriage to the next level. Just a little bit of discipline is all you need to be the spouse God called you to be. Just a little bit of strength is all you need to get through this challenging time. Just a few more days, 41 to be exact, is all you need to finish this year strong.
I believe that you have more left than you think you do. Assess what you have left. Then use it for the glory of God!
Monday, November 13, 2017
Monday's Marriage Moment -- Can You Stay Right Even When The Situation is Wrong?
Then the men of David said to him, “This is the day of which the Lord said to you, ‘Behold, I will deliver your enemy into your hand, that you may do to him as it seems good to you.’” And David arose and secretly cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. Now it happened afterward that David’s heart troubled him because he had cut Saul’s robe. And he said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the Lord.” So David restrained his servants with these words, and did not allow them to rise against Saul. And Saul got up from the cave and went on his way.
1 Samuel 24:4-7
Sometimes your spouse is wrong. It might look like I miss that fact when I minister to wives, but trust me I know it to be true. Sometimes they are just dead wrong. Sometimes they say something they should not say or do something they should not do, and it is wrong. It hurts you, or it offends you. Your first response could be to lash out or do something wrong as well. After all, we have been conditioned to retaliate. We hurt so we want other to hurt, but can I challenge you today to do something different? Can you stay right even when the situation is wrong?
Like you, I have been on the receiving end of hurt, offense, and betrayal. I am not telling you what I have heard. I know firsthand the ups and downs in marriage. I know the joys of marriage when things are great, and I know the challenges of marriage when they aren't. There have been times that John has said or done something that is wrong or offensive to me. It is at that point that I have a choice. I can respond based on my human nature or the nature of Christ. Many times I have made the wrong choice, but I have learned over time that my response effects me more than it does him.
David had a similar choice to make in 1 Samuel 24. Saul had hurt, offended, and betrayed him too. Saul took it to a totally different level -- he actually tried to kill David. It would be pretty bad if I said he tried to kill David once, but Saul tried to kill David multiple times. What makes it even worse is David was trying to help and comfort Saul all the while. David has had to flee his home, hide in caves, and behave like a crazy man just to survive another day. Finally, David is presented with the chance to get Saul back. He finds Saul lying in a cave asleep, and this is the perfect opportunity to kill Saul. The men who were with him encouraged him to kill him. They even said that God had set this exact opportunity up for him. I'm sure every fiber of David's being wanted Saul dead. No doubt he wanted the madness to end, but do you know what David did? He cut off a corner of Saul's robe and walked away. Yes, you read it correctly...he walked away. See, David realized that he was not accountable to Saul. He was accountable to God. He also realized that God is an amazing vindicator. He will fight our battles for us...if we let Him! Do you realize that? Will you let God fight for you?
Saul was wrong in how he treated David, but David left Saul's judgment up to God. He didn't take matters into his own hands. He didn't render evil for evil. He didn't try to get even. He remained in right position with God. Let me encourage you today. God will take care of you. If you release bitterness, anger, resentment, and wanting to see people pay God will fix the situation. David not only walked away, but he covered Saul. I know that is a foreign concept in this day and age of exposure and everything posted or videoed, but we still need to cover our spouses. That doesn't mean we excuse their wrongs, it means that we don't rise up against them nor do we allow others to do so. Note in the verses above, David restrained his men from rising against Saul. Maybe you aren't tempted to physically kill your spouse (I sure hope not), but your words could be doing a good job of assassinating their character or killing their spirit. Restrain yourself and others.
You will be presented with opportunities to practice this. Determine now that you will stay right in a wrong situation!
1 Samuel 24:4-7
Sometimes your spouse is wrong. It might look like I miss that fact when I minister to wives, but trust me I know it to be true. Sometimes they are just dead wrong. Sometimes they say something they should not say or do something they should not do, and it is wrong. It hurts you, or it offends you. Your first response could be to lash out or do something wrong as well. After all, we have been conditioned to retaliate. We hurt so we want other to hurt, but can I challenge you today to do something different? Can you stay right even when the situation is wrong?
Like you, I have been on the receiving end of hurt, offense, and betrayal. I am not telling you what I have heard. I know firsthand the ups and downs in marriage. I know the joys of marriage when things are great, and I know the challenges of marriage when they aren't. There have been times that John has said or done something that is wrong or offensive to me. It is at that point that I have a choice. I can respond based on my human nature or the nature of Christ. Many times I have made the wrong choice, but I have learned over time that my response effects me more than it does him.
David had a similar choice to make in 1 Samuel 24. Saul had hurt, offended, and betrayed him too. Saul took it to a totally different level -- he actually tried to kill David. It would be pretty bad if I said he tried to kill David once, but Saul tried to kill David multiple times. What makes it even worse is David was trying to help and comfort Saul all the while. David has had to flee his home, hide in caves, and behave like a crazy man just to survive another day. Finally, David is presented with the chance to get Saul back. He finds Saul lying in a cave asleep, and this is the perfect opportunity to kill Saul. The men who were with him encouraged him to kill him. They even said that God had set this exact opportunity up for him. I'm sure every fiber of David's being wanted Saul dead. No doubt he wanted the madness to end, but do you know what David did? He cut off a corner of Saul's robe and walked away. Yes, you read it correctly...he walked away. See, David realized that he was not accountable to Saul. He was accountable to God. He also realized that God is an amazing vindicator. He will fight our battles for us...if we let Him! Do you realize that? Will you let God fight for you?
Saul was wrong in how he treated David, but David left Saul's judgment up to God. He didn't take matters into his own hands. He didn't render evil for evil. He didn't try to get even. He remained in right position with God. Let me encourage you today. God will take care of you. If you release bitterness, anger, resentment, and wanting to see people pay God will fix the situation. David not only walked away, but he covered Saul. I know that is a foreign concept in this day and age of exposure and everything posted or videoed, but we still need to cover our spouses. That doesn't mean we excuse their wrongs, it means that we don't rise up against them nor do we allow others to do so. Note in the verses above, David restrained his men from rising against Saul. Maybe you aren't tempted to physically kill your spouse (I sure hope not), but your words could be doing a good job of assassinating their character or killing their spirit. Restrain yourself and others.
You will be presented with opportunities to practice this. Determine now that you will stay right in a wrong situation!
Monday, November 6, 2017
Mondays Marriage Moment -- Yes, You Do Need Them!
As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
Proverbs 27:17
I know. Our culture says things like: I can do bad by myself. I don't need anybody but Jesus. I am good alone. I have heard all of these phrases before. I've even said a few of them myself. I am great at forgiving, but I am also great at cutting people off. When I am done -- I am done. I can love you, forgive you, and be a blessing to you and still opt out of relationship with you. That sounds good to my flesh (maybe yours too). Yet, as I mature I realize that God designed us to live in community. He designed us to need other people. Yes, Dear Friend...need.
As always, this starts at home. You need your spouse. God has given you an amazing person to love, but that person also is there to sharpen you and you are to sharpen them. Yes, God uses the person that you stood before family and friends and promised your love to as a tool to sand off your rough edges. You don't believe me? Have they ever told you something that really annoyed you but later you had to admit they were right? Have they ever casually mentioned a flaw in your character that offended you until you realized there was some truth to it?
I have. John Cheek has told me some hard truths over these last 18 years. Honestly, I didn't always respond well (my response revealed so much about me than it did him, but that is another blog post). Sometimes I lashed out in anger. Sometimes I shut down. As I grow, I am learning to receive the truth even when I don't like it and make necessary changes. You know why? Because he is sharpening me. He is making me a better wife, mother, friend...a better person. God is using John to perfect me. He is using John to prepare me to minister to other women. He is using John in amazing ways.
So, I have determined that I am going to respond well. I am thankful for John, and I am glad that he loves me enough to tell me the truth. I am glad that he can tell me some hard truths so that I can do better. I encourage you to appreciate the spouse that God has given you. Listen for the truths that they are trying to share with you and make necessary changes.
Proverbs 27:17
I know. Our culture says things like: I can do bad by myself. I don't need anybody but Jesus. I am good alone. I have heard all of these phrases before. I've even said a few of them myself. I am great at forgiving, but I am also great at cutting people off. When I am done -- I am done. I can love you, forgive you, and be a blessing to you and still opt out of relationship with you. That sounds good to my flesh (maybe yours too). Yet, as I mature I realize that God designed us to live in community. He designed us to need other people. Yes, Dear Friend...need.
As always, this starts at home. You need your spouse. God has given you an amazing person to love, but that person also is there to sharpen you and you are to sharpen them. Yes, God uses the person that you stood before family and friends and promised your love to as a tool to sand off your rough edges. You don't believe me? Have they ever told you something that really annoyed you but later you had to admit they were right? Have they ever casually mentioned a flaw in your character that offended you until you realized there was some truth to it?
I have. John Cheek has told me some hard truths over these last 18 years. Honestly, I didn't always respond well (my response revealed so much about me than it did him, but that is another blog post). Sometimes I lashed out in anger. Sometimes I shut down. As I grow, I am learning to receive the truth even when I don't like it and make necessary changes. You know why? Because he is sharpening me. He is making me a better wife, mother, friend...a better person. God is using John to perfect me. He is using John to prepare me to minister to other women. He is using John in amazing ways.
So, I have determined that I am going to respond well. I am thankful for John, and I am glad that he loves me enough to tell me the truth. I am glad that he can tell me some hard truths so that I can do better. I encourage you to appreciate the spouse that God has given you. Listen for the truths that they are trying to share with you and make necessary changes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)